Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hello Vicodin, My Name is Kristin
Celeste loves my Vicodin days because she thinks I'm a barrel of fun. One day I asked Catherine, our receptionist, if Celeste had returned from lunch yet, when I heard Celeste laughing behind me. Not only had she been back from lunch for a full 3 hours, but I had had several in-depth conversations with her. So, you see, this is my brain on Vicodin.
But sometimes, I just have too much work to get done and I can't afford to take a day off. Like today, for instance. I really need to close the November financials. I've only taken one Vicodin, so it's not like it's going to knock me off my feet. I'll just slow down a bit and double-check my work, that's all.
So here's the plan. I ask Catherine to hold my calls and she says she will. I run into the wall and apologize to it. I ask Celeste to stop laughing at me and she says no way. I sit at my desk and stare at the computer screen.
I'm looking at the balance sheet and there was something I was going to do with it and I'm trying to remember what it was when my boss Don walks in and asks if I have the cash flow analysis completed. I nod and hand him my stapler. I see a look of comprehension cross his face and I know he must be pleased with my work. Which is great. Because I just love Don. And Celeste and Catherine too. I mean, I really, really love them.
But back to the balance sheet. I think I was going to add something to it and I'm pretty sure it was a number. It probably started with something between 1 and 9, and there may have been more digits that followed.
You know I've never noticed this before, but I'm staring at the fluorescent lights on my ceiling and thinking how much they remind me of those moving walkways in airports. Just two long strands. I can't believe I've never noticed this before.
But I can't think about that right now because I need to focus on the balance sheet. Except that I can't, because Don keeps coming in and giving me Sudoku puzzles and telling me he needs them completed before I even start on the financials.
You know, I'm actually really good at Sudoku. But these are tetty prough. And I have to hurry up because it's already eleventy-thirty. Jim will be here soon to prick me up. I wonder if Celeste would hrep me. I'm trying to mebmember her number but for the rife of me I can't recall it. I think I'll jus lay drown and brake a rittle breast.
But it's hard becrause my desk is spinnink. I'm trying to strop it. Fruckin dresk. De henner Jim gezir.