Thursday, December 3, 2009

You Can't Trust the IRS

It pains me to admit this, but my work laptop is still infested with viruses. Jim was able to remove one virus, but there are more. He’s thrown up his hands in defeat, mumbling something about a baseball bat and the ^&%#$! Russians who wrote these codes. One is a redirect virus. Which means that if I go to Google to do a search and type in something like “important financial dooda” and it brings up several options, one of which is a link to, say, Wikipedia, and I click on that link, it doesn’t take me to Wikipedia. Instead, it redirects me to a Viagra or Hottwinks site or something like that. Which, as you can imagine, is just the kind of virus you want to have on your work computer. So I spend a lot of time clearing my browser history. I’m not certain the viruses came from Blogcatalog. I’ve also been to recently to download 1099 forms.

And I love this. I’ve run a full frontal 90-minute Norton Antivirus scan on my computer twice. We know that my laptop is more infested than a London sewer rat in the 1300’s and this is what Norton tells me: you have zero infected files. I can’t believe we pay money for this software.

So our tech people are coming tomorrow in their hazmat uniforms to take my computer away and do whatever it is they do to computers like mine (dip it in hydrogen peroxide?).

I have to tell you about my friend Marshall. I’ve know Marshall since I was 12 and we used to bowl together. (Little known fact: I was a teen bowling sensation. It’s true. Marshall was a professional bowler. He went on tour and everything. Remember Earl Anthony, the famous pro bowler? He had a heart attack in my mom’s house, after moving my piano up a flight of stairs. My mom drove him to the hospital. Not something I’m necessarily proud of. Just a factiod you can file away.) Anyway, after being out of contact for 20 years, Marshall found me on Facebook recently and now we email each other every day and talk about our concurrent mid-life crises.

When I told Marshall I was toying with the idea of starting a blog, but doubted anyone would read it, he said this: I would read it! Wow. Not only would he read what I wrote, but did you see the exclamation point? He would read it with excitement! And somehow that pushed me over the edge from indecision into action and that night I started writing.

And thus a blog was born. But here’s the thing. Marshall never reads my blog. I ask him all the time if he’s read it and he always says, “Oh, sorry Kris, I’ve been really busy” (filing my toenails/washing my electronic hamster/yawning). So I keep giving him grief about it and finally he’s promised to lay off the porn for one night and check it out. So this morning he writes and tells me he read it and liked it. (Aw, thanks Marsh!) But I’ve learned a lot since I’ve started this blog. For instance, there’s no incentive like writing about someone and publishing it on the worldwide web to get them to log in and read your blog. Because it’s not enough that he just reads what I write. I want him to read it with excitement!

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  1. Now you've started blogging, the addiction will be terminal..... ;-)

    Whereabouts in Scotland are you going next year?

  2. Hi Chris! We haven't yet decided. If you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them (I prefer country over city). BTW, my husband just bought a Canon EOS Rebel yesterday. I'm so jealous! Love your photos.

  3. Excellent as usual, but I think you have a blog bug. Whatever transitional element you used to take gentle readers from your computer woes to Marshall seems to have been deleted somehow. Odd, no?

    Continued good use of graphic elements, BTW. Nothing like a good sewer rat drawing to illustrate a point.

  4. Celeste - that's what I get for posting from my infested work computer (over lunch, of course). Hopefully, the tech guys will straighten that out. I may have to tack on an little bonus when I pay their invoice this month.

  5. Hey Kristin,

    I'm biased but I think Aberdeenshire has it all - Miles of sandy beaches (though I won't promise warm temperatures!) forsets, rivers, rugged mountains, rolling hills, cute stone built villages from the time of Queen Victoria and beyond plus Aberdeen itself when you fancy a trip to a city. Did I also mention over 100 stone circles and dozens of castles?

    Thanks for the photo compliments :-) It's a good camera, he'll enjoy it.

  6. Chris - Aberdeenshire sounds absolutely lovely! Isn't that where Balmoral is? I bought Lonely Planet's guide to Scotland so I'll read up on it. Thanks for the recommendation.


Mmmm, comments - nom, nom, nom, nom!


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