Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Your Hussy Questions Answered


Wow. Had I known that writing about my flag obsession would generate so much interest in my blog, I would have ventured into soft porn sooner. Thanks to all for your flag love and your comments. I'll devote today's entry to answering some of your more pressing questions:

1. Is that you in the photo? No silly. I have light brown hair and I sleep under Australian sheets. Except now that the weather has turned cold, I'm going to be switching to my flannel Nordic Cross sheets (it's 29 and snowing in Kansas today).

2. Can I illegally download the photo of the naked woman (oops, I already did)? You know, I hate those pesky copyright laws, too. And I did notice there was a little download action going on. And now there's a second photo sitting up there and the two make a nice, well... pair, don't they? So here's what we're going to do. On the count of three, I'm going to close my eyes. That way, I will not see what's going on while you are not downloading the photo. Better yet, you can email me and I can just not send you the higher resolution jpg. But if you've already not downloaded it, why don't you do this? Since I paid $4 to Fotolio for each of those photos, why don't you contact your friends in neighboring countries whose flags I don't have and ask them to not click on the link to my blog. Then we're all happy, right? That's what I call win--win. Or, um, not win--not win.

3. Does Celeste seriously eat seaweed? Yes. But she is concerned that her international reputation is suffering because I have portrayed her as an incense-burning, seaweed-eating cat woman. So I have promised to make it up to her by devoting an entire blog entry to her. Now she is really afraid.

4. What other flags would you like? I am so glad you asked! (Actually, I'm very intuitive and I just sensed you wanted to know this.) So, in no particular order, here are some of my most coveted flags. Just in case you're planning a visit to one of these locales for the holidays.

  • Christmas Island – I married into the Christmas family, so it goes without saying that I need this flag. But with a population of only 1,400, this could prove challenging.  And I have a sneaking suspicion I would just end up with another hit on my Australian flag.


  • British Indian Ocean Territory – Pot plant and wavy lines. I feel a Cheetos binge coming on.

  • Chile – I’ve always wanted to go to Patagonia

  • Isle of Man – 3 severed legs joined at the thigh. What were they thinking?

  • Micronesia – Because you have to respect a nation with the balls to go with powder blue

  • St. Pierre & Miquelon – Viking-type ship, lions, ermine pattern… there’s a lot going on here and I’m not sure it all flows. I think someone forgot to send this flag to editing.

  • Papua New Guinea – Cannibalism

  • Madagascar – Lemurs

  • Mongolia – Do they even have internet in Mongolia?

  • Bosnia & Herzegovina – Reminds me of the Sticky Fingers album cover

  • Armenia – Seroj… who loves ya?!

  • Mayotte – Because I've never heard of it

  • Libya – Solid green. Either a stunning lack of imagination or they could only afford one dye color. But I want it.


I think that will do nicely for now, but if you happen to find yourself in Myanmar or Bangladesh, please, feel free to visit my blog.  And I am always happy to send you a U.S. flag because I know how hard those are to come by.

Now, I really need to get off my blog and get busy with my Christmas shopping or my kids won't have anything under the tree this year.  So.  What do you think of these shoes?













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5 comments:

  1. In addition to your always crisp and juicy writing, I've very much enjoyed seeing obscure flags. I swear I thought that was you wrapped up in the flag.

    Additionally, I'd like to point out that many, many people eat sea vegetables (the culinarily correct term) every day as an integral part of sushi. Not that I'm defensive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was hoping, you know about the flag thing, sort of dashed my preconceptions... just a little.

    But, never mind. You have given me the impetus to come out of my flag closet and admit to being a flag hussy on my blog. Check it out later, I'll link here of course:
    http://itsnotthecoffin.blogspot.com/
    Who knows, you might even get some strange visitors, probably not on your wish list, although I do have a Manx Flag on one of my blogs. But the chances of a Libyan flag are high.

    I love geography, and that is what spurs my hussydom, but I don't recall the little flag with two small shoes on it.... and I have never heard of Mayotte, gonna google that right now.

    AV

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  3. Ha ha!! SMOOCH!! Thanks AV!! Have added your site to my blogroll. Can't wait for the flags. Woo hooooooooooooooo!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OH this was a jewel...you sold me! I'm going to have to come back to visit again and again because any blog that makes me snort is a keeper!

    Avery

    ReplyDelete

Mmmm, comments - nom, nom, nom, nom!

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