Saturday, January 16, 2010

Chap. 2, Pg 6, On plastic frippery giveaways

A few quick things. I'm headed over to Lawrence tonight for a much needed bottle of Marbec and some decompression time with my girl Amy Leigh, so I'm going to make this short.

First, to whomever wrote the manual on how to throw a suburban middle-class birthday party, I don't much like you. Did you know that there is a requirement to give out gift bags to all the attendees? It's true. It's right there under “thou shalt not make thy own cake unless thou art gifted in the art of making elaborate fondant doo dads.” Jim and I both forgot about the gift bag clause until yesterday afternoon (Dan's party was today). I called him in a panic and we both decided to run out after work and scoop up whatever candy and plastic crappery we could find. We arrived home and dumped out our loot and realized we had both overcompensated and ended up with the preschool equivalent of an Oprah giveaway.

We had also missed the part in the manual about putting an RSVP on the invites so we had no idea how many bags to assemble. As unprepared as I felt, however, I think I can place myself higher on the momness scale than the harried parents who did a drop and run, leaving their children blinking in the doorway clasping an envelope with a $10 bill tucked inside.

Do you like the cake? I made the dinosaur entirely out of fondant.

Thing #2: In insensitive bastard news, Rush Limbaugh has accused the earthquake in Haiti of playing into the hands of President Obama, helping him to look compassionate and further bolstering his image among minorities. I hate it when natural disasters take sides. Rush seems fearful that Obama will use the situation to score political points. Celeste pointed out that Rush would never do something so crass as to exploit human suffering for his own ends. Rush has also discouraged his listeners from participating in Haitian relief efforts, saying "We've already donated to Haiti.  It's called the U.S. Income Tax."  Really?  First Robertson, now Limbaugh. I'm just waiting for Ann Coulter to pop off something brilliant and then the grand trifecta of arseholiness will have spoken.


  1. That dinosaur cake is awesome!

  2. Thanks Brenda! I'll put in my recipe book, after the suet cake chapter.

  3. Arseholiness. Now that is a very good word.

  4. OMG!...Thank heavens my mother doesn't have photos of me in drag to flash around the internet! This image will be on the Internet Archive site for all eternity. Can a piece of cake be e-mailed? A piece from in front of the dino. Don't know what one might find behind.

  5. JA, if you send me a picture I can digitally alter it with a smashing princess outfit. On the cake, I recommend the lava portion if you like frosting. The center is marble (chocolate/white combo).

  6. Well, there was that one time I went to the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.... Perhaps if mom had....

  7. Fantastic picture. I am tempted to get my (currently sleeping) child back downstairs and find a disney princess dress to pop on him.

    Fab cake. Can you make me one for October?!


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