Sunday, January 3, 2010

Enough with the fucking snow, and some nipple


On New Years Day Veronica from Tasmania put up a post about her 25 favorite blogs and there was one about Anne who had put up photos of her nipple, so of course I and everyone else clicked on that first to check out the nipple pic, and it occurred to me that my most favorite photo in all the world, of Daniel at a couple weeks old, includes a secret glimpse of my nipple. Did you notice? It was part of a series of shots done at a photographer's studio and she had given me a black tube top to wear but since I had just given birth my breasts were all engorged with milk and they kept busting out of the tube top and I kept stopping the shoot to pull it back up but at some point I just thought fuck it, we're both women here, she knows what breasts look like, and we kept on with the shoot with my boobs hanging out. I thought it was all rather Free To Be You and Me.

Last night we went over to Matthew and Cydney's house for game day. They have game day every year on Boxing Day, but because of the blizzard they postponed it this year until the following Saturday. We played Bananagrams, which is kind of like competitive Scrabble where each player has a set of tiles and tries to build their own layout and use all of their tiles before everyone else. It was fun and all, but to spice things up someone (I think it was me) decided everyone should try to include a slang word for breasts in their layout. I had titties and Cyd's dad had hooters and Matthew nobs, etc. But one of the players had trouble coming up with a word so went below the waist and over the border with nads. So then someone else (I think it was me) decided that boy parts should be the theme of the next puzzle.

Then we decided we would do geographical features that doubled as body parts and right out of the gate I spelled butte. I thought I should win the grand prize but then Cyd's mother-in-law came up with mound and we all agreed that trumped butte. From there we moved on to drugs and things started to disintegrate. I traded Matthew a G under the table for one of his M's so that I could spell Diazepam and he could do Viagra. I'm pretty sure this wasn't in the rules but then again it was in keeping with the theme.

By this time it was snowing again so I thought I should get the kids home before the roads got too bad. And good lord was it cold out there. I think the car warmed up to about 4 degrees by the time we got home. And of course I had forgotten to fix the kids up before leaving home with mittens and scarves and insulated face wrap to keep their lips from freezing off. When I woke up this morning it had snowed another 3 inches. And when I looked at the 10-day forecast it didn't look pretty. On Friday, for instance, the high is zero. Yeah. Not celcius. That doesn't include the wind chill, which will be about –116.

Last night Amy Leigh was blaming me for the weather. She was posting pictures of copulating snowmen on my Facebook wall and threatening to mow me down with a combine. Then she suddenly changed tack and started blaming another friend. I have no idea why. I asked her whether she had considered that just maybe, the weather was not caused by her friends, but instead by a cold air mass colliding with another warmer, more saturated air mass. That it was just a thought.

Jim wants me to go see Avatar but I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate it because (a) it's science fiction and (b) it's animated science fiction and (c) it's called Avatar. And then today I logged onto Facebook and saw that the other Kristin had posted that she kinda hates James Cameron and that she'd flash him some boob if he never uses the term unobtainium again. And while I have no idea what she was talking about, it didn't make me want to run out and see the movie. And then she followed that up with this: I wonder if James Cameron's pitch was this: Avatar = Lord of the Rings + Gorillas in the Mist + Alien + Return of the Jedi? And then someone threw in “Don't forget about Fern Gully” and something about Celine Dion and Titanic and the ending credits. Now I know I will never see the movie.

Okay. I'm going to go make black-eyed peas now, which I never made on New Years Day because of my migraine. Do you think it will still bring me good luck even though it's the 3rd? I'm also making some homemade cornbread from this new killer recipe I found that uses creamed corn and sour cream, except I just realized I don't have creamed corn, so maybe I won't. And Jim is putting out another suet block for the birds because they are going bat-crackin'-happy over my concoction. Either that or they're just desperate because every other food source within a three state radius is frozen solid. And the kids are out freezing their lips off in the -15 wind chill. But they go back to school tomorrow so it's the last bit of outdoor fun they'll have for a while. And Jim is shoveling the driveway. Again.

Only 76 days until Spring.


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7 comments:

  1. What a beautiful photo of your son...can't find the nipple though...

    I guess we will just have to wait the 76 more days for spring...although I've had about enough winter!!!

    Cheers

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  2. I agree, I can't find your nipple either. That's okay though.

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  3. I'm here via Veronica's top 25. Can't find ur nipple in that pic... the lil one is a beauty!

    Here's to spring coming early this year... please!! lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kristin cheated and posted an Anne Geddes photo. There is no nipple.

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  5. Crap. Now I can't find my nipple either.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Scrabble+alcohol=rude words. It is the law.

    I won't compare inches so to speak, but we're having a similar bout of snowy weather & I've had enough. Is it Spring yet? :-(

    ReplyDelete

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