Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Oh god, not more Jello

Jim and I had a little quarrel respectful disagreement. When he read the post about my pi shirt he claims I got the story all wrong, that he didn't even know I had ordered the shirt, but I told him absolutely not, that that was exactly how my creative license remembered it happening. That in fact, he had to translate the shirt for me. Glen from London wrote and told me he didn't think it was a sexual reference. And while I appreciate the support, Glen, I think the problem is that in London pi looks like this:

while in America it looks like this:

And if you still don't understand the reference, well, never mind. At the very least, I know that when I go to Scotland this summer I can pack that T-shirt and wear it with abandon.

Barbara from the UK tells me that in Britain they also have dark chocolate Kit Kats, the original fcuk, and a dry, understated wit and perhaps it's them I'm really crushing on. I suppose I'll find out when I go. And come to think of it, their capitol, London, is a large metropolitan city that people actually enjoy visiting (sorry Bill the poet, nothing personal, you know I adore both you and your accent). Though, Barbara, animals with pockets?

We had a new visitor to our back porch the other night.

Jim put out some leftover ham and waited to see who would show up. We've had several raccoons, a couple of skunks, squirrels, rabbits, a fox and of course my gorgeous coyote, but this is the first possum. Isn't he something?

Have you ever had an oscopy of some sort? You wouldn't think that would be something fun to blog about, would you? How wrong you are. We have a history in our family of cancer in the GI tract at a young age, so my doctor was pretty adamant that I get oscopied from both ends, so to speak, and that is what I spent my morning doing. I will spare you the gory details and tell you only the fun bits.

As you may know you are put on a liquid diet the day before and given some medicinal help to clean out your system, if you know what I mean. Your doctor wants your colon to be sparkling clean. So if you've ever wanted a chance to go wild with Jello, this is your big opportunity. Second, after an entire day and night of said cleansing, you'll want to get up in the morning, hop on the scale and say, “Yay, this is my new weight!” And then don't weigh yourself again for months.

Since I was getting the double scope treatment, including an EGD which goes down the throat, Jim mused whether they would just keep going until the two cameras could see each other. Dr. Livingstone I presume? This led me to wonder if they would plant little flags in my innards and, if not, whether I could request it. Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to ask before the morphine completely knocked me out so I'm left not knowing.  Though I won't have the final results for another week, all appears to be where it belongs and nothing out of order.

Honestly, it wasn't all that awful. So if your doctor recommends this for you, please know that it's really just a piece of cake. Or bowl of Jello. And then you don't have to do it again for a long, long time. Because colon cancer is a silent killer. It can grow inside your body for years and metastasize to other organs without you even knowing it. A colonoscopy is one of those annoying exams that no one wants to do, like a mammogram, but we do it because the risks of not doing it are just too great. Just think of it as another self-care ritual, kind of like flossing or brushing your teeth.

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  1. It's the Aussies, truly. Don't listen to the whinging Poms, truly you love us best. (I say that with love Barbara xx)

  2. I just love the stuff they give you to flush the system. Don't known what you use - the stuff in Australia tastes like battery acid - but Jumping Jehoshaphat - does it work well!

  3. At the risk of excommunication, a charge of treason and my mother never speaking to me again... I have to agree with Veronica.

  4. If you come to London you get the best of both worlds as half of Australia works here anyway - I for one, work for an Australian company :-) Your pictures have indeed clarified things and I am now sat with a mixture of shame and hunger for pie. Your tales of how you spent your morning have stopped me feeling hungary, so I guess I'll stick with the shame.

  5. Pssst, V, have been to England (though never Scotland), am only humoring Barbara. Don't tell!

  6. Glen, you've been feeling Hungary? Steady on love!

    Veronica & Matthew, I'm not talking to either of you :-)

    mmm, yes, animals with pockets, I see what you've done there. Mind you, I liked your possum as well.

    The jello diet could catch on, you should patent it now before someone else does!

  7. I knew trying to type with two fingers was a mistake.

  8. Glen, you're getting it from all sides, aren't you dear?

  9. Gosh Glen, your hands must be huge!

    Barbara, shouldn't you be not typing to me? Hehe. xx


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