Friday, January 15, 2010

Televangi-fragilistic

Hey Pat Robertson. I have a donation for your 700 Club. It's right over here. But watch the ice on my porch steps. It's pretty slippery. Careful now. Careful.... AHHH. Shit. Oh well. Guess I'll give it to the Red Cross. I hear they really need it.

Kim from Tasmania, who is now my Facebook friend, asked me yesterday who is Pat Robertson, so it occurred to me that perhaps most people outside the U.S. don't know (lucky you). He's one of these evangelical windbags that we seem to breed like flies in the States and for some unknown reason they keep getting air time, thanks in no small part to outlets like Fox (it's not) News. He has his own show called the 700 Club and if you ever accidentally swallow a zipper or something and need an immediate purgative just google him or his club and you'll get more information than you can process. He and his ilk believe that all things remotely non-middle-class-white-Christian are caused by devil worship (obviously), aka gayness, poorness or, in the case of Haiti, I'm assuming blackness. They are a scabey hate-mongering plague on our planet. I keep sending money into his church and praying that the whole lot of them get sucked into middle earth, but apparently my prayers haven't achieved critical mass yet.

Did you see that as of yesterday, over $5 million had been raised for the Red Cross through cell phone text donations in the U.S.? This was from people texting the word Haiti on their mobile devices to donate in $10 increments. So while we breed a lot of wankers we make up for it in other ways. Just thought I'd point that out.

Okay. The other day I was cruising the blogosphere looking for flag seeing what new sites where out there and I came across Nadezhda's blog. Nadezhda lives in the Ukraine and is learning English. She is collecting English phrases and I thought we could help her out. I'm always impressed when anyone speaks a language other than their own. I'm 39-ish and I'm still learning to speak American. And Nadezhda, I wrote a post awhile back on the horrors of learning English as a second language, what with all of our idioms and slang. If you're not already thoroughly confused, you can go read it.

So pop on over and say hello to Nadezhda. She just wrote about how she went to play bowling the other day with a friend but didn't have a cash. Stopped to get money, took an hour trip and ARRGH, was told they didn't booked! Give her some blog love. If you do, chances are good she'll return the favor and leave you some Ukraine flag (she did me – and it's a mighty sexy flag).

I was reading an article the other day on subliminal messages that are used in advertising. I thought I would try it for myself. I emailed Jim today about picking up some journals at a bookstore that is going out of business. I knew that he would have to pass by another store that sells bulk candy on the way to the bookstore so I signed off my email with this: “I hope you're having a SWEDISH great day. I'll see you when you FISH get home. Love you!”

It worked.




In news of the adorable, someone I love turned five.





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7 comments:

  1. Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday to you
    Happy birthday dear adorablewhojustturnedfi-iive
    Happy birthday to you

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't want to put that wanker pat robertsons name in the same comment as a happy birthday. So you are getting two for one today. yay.

    I googled him and wished I hadn't. He reminded me of another religious extremist wanker who thinks that all platypus should be exterminated because they are the spawn of the devil. WANKER.

    We have idiotic froth at the mouth religious nuts here in Aus as well (Rev Fred Nile) but they certainly dont rate compared to your American ones. Aussies tend to mock them a bit so ours are sneakier as well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mmm, lolly fish...

    And Happy Birthday to the big 5yo!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy 5th Birthday to your little person K.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, thank you. It was fun to read about myself ;-D
    I didn't quite get the first part about Pat Robertson. The way you wrote about him and his club made me think that you didn't approve it. So what about donations?
    He-he, subliminal messages always work if a person to which it is applied wants to be affected.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Kristin. I did check on Nadezhda's blog. Its a nice place to be at.
    Loved the way you write too. Keep the posts coming...:)
    Oh yeah, have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Mr. S, nice to see a new face. And thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone!

    ReplyDelete

Mmmm, comments - nom, nom, nom, nom!

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