Sunday, January 17, 2010

Things I don't get

This stimulating piece of code is brought to you by the techwits at Technorati: DNETQBGGYJNX. Ignore it.

Chris from Scotland told me about a comic called XKCD (when he was leaving a comment to tell me that he enjoyed my cat post and found it thoroughly non-offensive, thank you very much Chris, even though he had lived with moggies all his life, and I have no idea what moggies are but I'm going to assume boots). Anyway, I didn't understand 50% of the comedic material therein because it relied heavily on techno/sciencey knowledge, which is part of what Jim agreed to take on in our marriage vows, but I did get this one:

But anyway, this comic site that I didn't understand reminded me of this T-shirt that I bought online last year. It looks like this:

Get it? i 8 sum pi. On the back it says: and it was good. I thought it was very clever because, you see, I work in finance. And while Jim had to explain the i part of the equation to me I thought it would make me look all mathematical to wear it into work on our casual days. So I ordered the shirt and wore it on March 14, because that's pi day, right. And I work in finance. Ha ha. And then when I came home Jim said, you know that's a sexual reference, don't you? Then I felt like a total ass.

On Facebook and drama: I hate drama. I mean, I'm seriously annoyed by drama and the people who wield it. Amy and I were having a conversation about this the other night as we were working our way to the bottom of that bottle of Marbec.

My emetic of choice is the uber-bleeding heart. Post after hairshirt post about one's soul-rending inadequacy for not being able to personally solve the crisis in Haiti. “If only I could provide warmth and safety and a soft bed for every person left homeless, etc, etc.” Jim's comment: They're probably warm enough.

Amy's favorite attention whore? People who post cryptic status updates like this: “I had to rush Bill to the emergency room but he seems to be recovering from his amputation.” And you're left thinking, what? Finger? Penis? And you found time to stop and post on Facebook? Must be dire.

I love Amy. She was on a real tear the other night about the men in Lawrence. She was in her kitchen, puffing away on a cigarette and I was in the living room hiding (taking notes, really). She said: they'll write a poem about your menstrual cycle but can't change a fucking alternator. I want a man who will just be happy I get my period. People in Lawrence buy their underwear at a garage sale. People, go to Target and buy new underwear. Jesus wept!

For most of you who live outside the Midwest, thoughts of Kansas probably conjure up rolling plains and golden fields of wheat and gaybashing and low IQ's. And for 98% of the state that is largely true. But Lawrence is something else all together. Lawrence is to Kansas what Michael Moore is to the Conservative Film Festival. Drive over the border into Lawrence and people are sitting on the corner sipping organic wheatgrass, braiding their goatees and lobbying for the legalization of marijuana. When we were in college, it was our mecca. Fifteen years later, it's all getting a little tiresome.

So anyway, that T-shirt still sits in my closet and I wear it occasionally when I go to the gym, but I do feel a little self-conscious now as opposed to clever. I asked Jim if he really thought that was true, about it being sexual. Because it's a pink shirt and why would they sell it in pink if that were so. And he just looks at me and smiles. And further, if he knew it was a sexual reference, why didn't he say so before I ordered it? I still haven't gotten a satisfactory answer from him.

Bloody techno/science geeks.

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  1. Bah haha. That FB one is pure gold!

  2. Love the t-shirt... LOL It would have been more embarrassing if you'd had to explain it to your boss. But it gives me an idea for a post. I see your flag tally is rising...


  3. AV, I'm sure I *did* explain it to my boss, enthusiastically, thinking I was so clever. On flags: did you see I have a Namibia?

  4. I've read through my entire 'artistic literature' collection and can find no references at all to eating pie so I think you are OK, though to be fair it was dark in the attic and the newest one I could find was from 1991 so I might be out of date!
    loving your work.

  5. If you would have never explained that shirt I would have never got it! LOL I think it's great. Nice Blog:)

  6. Moggies = pussy.



    I don't get half of XKCD either, but some of it is pure gold. Nice T-shirt and I don't get the reference either :-(


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