Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Loose ends (mine) and loose lips (hers)

All Star Sports: They emailed me and admitted they had made an accounting error. They agreed to give Daniel four free weeks of lessons if we came back. We came back.

Outlook good.

(Note: I bought Anna a pink Magic 8 Ball for Valentine’s Day. Don’t tell.)

Jealous? You can play with your own here

Speeding Ticket: It occurred to me today, out of the blue, that I never paid my speeding ticket. I had decided just to pay it in advance of my trial date and be done with it, that I would abandon the had-to-pee defense out of sheer embarrassment. It also occurred to me that my trial date was Feb. 10th. Today was Feb. 10th. *%$#!@.

I ran out to my car and dug through some papers in my glove compartment until I found the notice with my trial information. The trial was at 1:00 p.m. It was 11:48. *%$#!@.

I finished up my work and drove down to the courthouse. I sat and waited for them to call my name. I was un-dressed-up. The prosecutor asked if anyone wanted to talk to him before court convened. I raised my hand. He called me to the bench.

Him:  ??
Me:  Can I just pay this and not go through the whole court thing?
Him:  Yes. But. If you’d like to pay double the fine we can remove it from your record.
Me:  ??
Him:  What would you like to do?
Me:  What would you do?
Him:  I can’t advise you. Exactly.
Me:  If it goes on my record, will my insurance rates go up?
Him:  They could.
Me:  If I pay double, can I at least put it on my VISA and get rewards points?
Him:  Yes.
Me:  So. If you could advise me, what would you do?
Him:  If you were my daughter, I’d tell you to take the latter option.*
Me:  *%$#!@.

Facebook: I just went through the most liberating Facebook purge. Following Celeste’s lead, I created a second account and migrated all my work connections over to my new work-me account. I then unfriended them from the fun-me account. Because my boss and a number of my colleagues were on Facebook and it was beginning to feel cozy in a very awkwardly suffocating sort of way and I ended up hiding all my posts from them, so what was the point? So if you’re looking for me on Facebook, make sure you find the fun me (hint: fun me wears blue, not black). And to my work friends who may be reading this, please know that I still love you in that financial, me-in-black sort of way.

Twitter: Veronica thinks that the solution to my twitter problem is that I need to move to Australia. This is because almost all my twitter friends, including Veronica, are in Australia, which means that when they are up tweeting, I’m sleeping. And when I’m up and ready to tweet, they're all asleep. Which makes for lousy conversation. However, William in France read my post and took pity on me and is now my twitter friend. And Barbara and Marylin in the UK are my twitter friends. And while they are also in different time zones, they are not quite as radically different as Australia.

However, just to be cover my bases I asked the Magic 8 Ball if I would be moving to Australia. Do you know what it told me?

Without a doubt.


Sarah Palin’s other hand:

*Hat’s off to prosecutor guy for flattering me that I’m young enough to be his daughter. It was almost worth the double fine.


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  1. Yeh - but how old was the prosecutor guy? I have never known a Magic 8 Ball to lie so I would start packing.

  2. please insult the evil Pale-one. we hates her.
    if Alaska doesn't even want her what does that tell all of you?

  3. Somebody ought to start a new social-networking system called HANDS. The general idea is that short messages would be created in an area no bigger than the palm of your hand. Members would only extend their hands and open their palms in the presence of trustworthy folk. Linking up to a new member would be called "shaking hands". The new system would ask Ms Palin to be their leader.

  4. Seriously, you pay double the fine and they'll wipe the slate clean?! Man, I love America!

    PS. Totally agree with Veronica. Migrate to Oz, so we could have #TwitterParties every. single. night.

  5. Even though I have not Tweeted since abandoning the idea last October, and slated the concept right here yesterday, I received an email last night confirming "Clean Freak" had started following me. Sorry Ladies - just not my bag baby :-)

    KB - I think you took the right choice, I've still got another 4 years until my speeding points will be removed from my license :-( wish I could have paid double and walked away!

  6. Splitting work from play on the whole Facebook front makes sense - but if you left it as it is, it could make for very boring office christmas parties......

  7. I love William's idea for the new social networking system. Good one.

    Everything else I might have been going to say seems to have been said, except, don't move to Australia, move to the UK - much easier!

  8. I have the same prob - most of my favourite bloggy/twitter friends are in australia - how unfair is that eh! hehe

    I second Barbara's idea to move to the UK btw... you'd love it here, really! ;)

  9. I'm trying guys. I keep packing my bags and Jim keeps unpacking them. I don't know what his problem is.

  10. You are SO funny; loved this post. Esp. the Visa rewards points part! HILARITY! Even your comment above made me snort.

  11. Sarah Palin is very very scary. Does she have a chance of being elected? After all George W wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and he got in.


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