Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Can we all just take a deep breath?

Is it just me or has the world gone just a little mad lately?

We've been dealing with a string of minor dramas and emergencies at the office and I keep waiting for the end of the line. We're gearing up for our big holiday meal program in which we deliver a week's worth of kosher food to needy families for Passover. This year we have more families needing help than ever and have doubled our distribution efforts. However, a couple of last minute personal emergencies have ensured that the people coordinating the program are quite suddenly... gone. We sat in Management meeting today and discussed contingency plans and this was the best we came up with: reschedule Passover.

My friend Amy seems to be experiencing something similar. She posted a cryptic message on Facebook today saying that after the events of the last few days things seemed a little too dull at her office and they needed some excitement. I offered to run up and down the hallways covered in nothing but little adhesive arrow stickies yelling “sign here bitches!”

Surprisingly, after conferring with her office mates, they agreed to take me up on this. I told them to get their sharpies ready because they were going to have to sign on the fly.

Maybe we're all feeling the after effects of the country's seismic reaction to the passage, finally, of a comprehensive health care bill. The bill has stirred up the roiling political tensions that are always simmering just beneath our nation's surface. Some are hailing it as a watershed accomplishment, others as Armageddon, and the rest are scratching their heads wondering how its all really going to fall out in the end. I'm torn between camps one and three.

Those on the far right are terribly riled up. Some have made death threats on Obama. Racial epithets are being thrown. The stories that have been making the headlines are some of the more far out. At least, I hope that's the case. I hope these are the outliers.

There was this story which issues a rallying cry for conservatives to stop donating blood. The argument is that conservatives give more blood than liberals, seeing as they are more Christian, and if they stop giving blood they will really impact the healthcare system and liberals will have to relent and repeal the healthcare bill. Or something like that. I didn't quite follow the logic. Nor was I clear on the connection with Christian charity. But never mind.

Some are taking their aggressions out on the First Lady. Yesterday Teabaggers marched on the White House protesting Michelle Obama's campaign against obesity, carrying signs that read: “Hands Off Our Obesity!”

This is from the Borowitz Report: "Being obese is one of our American core values," said Carol Foyler, a Teabagger from Toledo, Ohio who showed up for the march. "It's guaranteed by the Constitution."

Ms. Foyler said that Mrs. Obama's campaign against obesity was yet another example of the White House interfering in ordinary people's lives: "They want us all to be skinny like they are in Europe."

The Teabagger said that she would fight the First Lady's obesity campaign "because you know what happens when you get too thin? Your husband runs off with a tattoo model."

Well. There you have it. Obesity = marital fidelity = constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of flabbiness. Or something like that.

About the only positive thing to come out of the mouths of conservatives lately was Rush Limbaugh's promise to move to Costa Rica if the health care bill passed.

Man up Costa Rica. You'll learn to live with the pain.  At least you have ready access to mind-numbing drugs.

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  1. Sharpie at the ready!

    I've been hearing about this health care bill for days. I don't get it. are they giving you more health care, or taking it away? Don't you guys already pay, like, thousands, every time you get a head cold anyway?

    I'm not sure I would like conservative blood in me anyway. Might temper the flame. The can keep it.

  2. Yes, it sounds as though a collective deep breath is definitely in order.

    I was totally giggling at the "Obesity = marital fidelity = constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of flabbiness." part.

  3. Oh, you definitely wanna get caught in a rip (that's an Aussie undertow). They even have one at Bondi called "Backpackers Rip".

    Case in point- Bondi Rescue. Top rating Aussie TV show. Look for sexy lifeguards in following video.


    (Trust me, people who are not Kristin. This makes sense to her).

  4. Fabulous Lori! Am ditching the live-rabbit-strapped-to-body scheme in favor of near drowning. You rock my world girl.

  5. I just want access to the mind-numbing drugs. Heehee.

  6. Holy Cow! As a conservative, non-blood donating, Christian, I am hanging my head in shame. Not the first time, probably won't be the last time. When will "we" learn to not speak unless we have brains that actually work?

    Good post.

  7. Hang on.. Doesn’t this call for girl wrapped in Red Cross flag?

    p.s., girl of average weight, mustn't upset anyone! :)

  8. Did they really march to the White House - or were they rolled?

  9. There are certainly some kangaroos loose in the top paddock in conservative-land in the USA.

  10. I cant think of a decent comment because the obesity is guaranteed by the constitution has made my mind go blank. So in Lieu of a decent comment I just tweeted you instead xx

  11. Please please please tell me you are kidding about the Teabaggers? I am not familiar with this term.

    I know, technically, it's none of my damn business being a skinny (hahaha!) fit (hahahaha!) european and all - but I donated a dollar towards a Rush ticket - at first I thought YAY! Messrs Lee, Liefson and Peart in Costa Rica, sounds like a partay - then I realised it was for a good cause so gave anyway ;)

    Being serious for a moment, it's pretty scary from over here watching the most power "democracy" in the word descend into fascism... really scary.

  12. That's one of the things that I love about the US constitution: every North American pushing an agenda seems to be able to find support for their cause in the founding document of their nation. Seems like some pretty loose or symbolic interpretation of that document is going on...

    Perhaps it's time that we finally had an equivalent constitution in Old Blighty. That'd be sure to excite a whole range of groups pursuing unsavoury activities in this country (i.e. the current members of the Labour government).

  13. Golly, I must move to Europe if that's the way to be skinny.

    Honestly - being obese a constitutional right? Madness.

  14. Now if Laura Bush would have made Obesity her pet project, people would have thought that she pooped pure sunshine. It doesn't matter. WHAT happens. If Michelle Obama found the cure for cancer, I am sure that there are those who would somehow make THAT seem like a bad thing too. I am sure CANCER is covered in the Constitution too...

  15. there is not supposed to be a period after matter. Dangit.

  16. Dominic, the Constitution, like the Bible, like my last performance review, is one of those things that everyone can interpret in their own way to suit their own needs. If you're ever confused, just ask me. I'm always right.

  17. Now, now Mr. Xmas, even non-conservatives need to take a deep breath...

  18. Bondi Rescue..... nah, go Bondi Vet instead.

    Bondi Rabbi, I've yet to see. May be good, may not be.

  19. Methinks Matthew is missing the point. Am not looking to watch television, but to be *otherwise* entertained...

  20. I saw your image of the newspaper first and read this post because I thought it was going to be talking about the "size" of Obama's "package".

    You tricked me, Kristin.

  21. Now I know 2 definitions of teabagger.
    The first one I learnt from watching Big Brother After Dark (which is where I also learned what a turkey slap is).
    However, I am pleased to say - it was here at Wanderlust that I learnt about Vagazzaling (did I spell it right?)

  22. What can I say that hasn't already been said. I laughed! Thank you.


Mmmm, comments - nom, nom, nom, nom!


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