Monday, March 29, 2010

Naked thoughts running down the sidewalk of my mind

Today I pulled up CNN to see what was happening in the news o' the world and saw this. R & B singer Erykah Badu was videotaped shedding her clothes as she walked along a sidewalk in Dallas, Texas, near where President Kennedy was assassinated. And then she fell to the ground, dramatically. I'm pretty sure this was art, a statement of some sort. In fact, if I read a little further I see, yes, she was making a statement about “groupthink” as she later tweeted to her followers. I see it now.

Not everyone was amused with Badu's unveiling. There were plenty of people milling about, including children, when she exposed her grassy knoll to passers-by, prompting some to shout “put your clothes on, damn girl!”

One fan tweeted to Badu on Sunday: "thank you, because your being brave, i no longer feel afraid to say what i really feel."

I think it’s contagious. I too am suddenly feeling released from the shackles of groupthink. In fact, watch out, I feel an original thought coming on. Lots of thoughts. Stand back, here they come:
  • I love the way mangos look. Sometimes I just stand in the produce section and stare at them. If they’re ripe, I smell them too.
  • No, I’m not a lesbian.
  • With my first child I had an epidural. With my second I had a doula, no drugs and a natural birth. I muchly preferred the first. 
  • I don’t jog. I hate jogging. 
  • And yet, I have an irrational desire to run naked through a field of wheat. 
  • I have a feeling the reality of this would in no way live up to the fantasy.
  • Would, in fact, leave scars.
  • My kids aren’t allowed to eat on the couch, but I am. 
  • I think President Obama is immensely sexy because he has integrity and is always utterly composed. Too bad he doesn't have an Australian accent. 
  • I would like to take a long road trip through several states. 
  • Alone. 
  • Very soon. 
  • I'm sure this won't happen. 
  • I rarely read the news. I find it boring and depressing. Today was an exception. Of all the headlines on CNN the one I chose to click on was about a woman undressing in public. 
  • I imagine that if people knew this about me they would think I was irresponsible and typically American, which I don't like, but I still don't want to read the news.
  • I once visited a distant relative in a nursing home. She had been there for 7 years, much of that time in a semi-vegetative state. I didn't know what to say to her, so I told her it was okay to die.
  • Three days later she did. 
  • I also see dead people. 
  • No, not really.
  • Apologies to Lori
What about you? What's your nakedly original thought?
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  1. I've always wanted to go skinny-dipping. But there's the small problem of "I can't really swim." Yes really, I can't swim. But whatever. It's a minor detail. Right?!

  2. I think I might be in love with blogging. Is that wrong?

  3. I have a few nakedly original thoughts.

    -I don't wear bras. I LIKE that my boobs are saggy - it reminds me of better days.

    -There are days when I cannot stand anymore cuddles or snuggles and I just want 45 minutes of time where I can strip down naked and lay in my bed without interruption.

    -I get really fucking annoyed when women who have NO IDEA how their c/s suturing was done spout off statistics that may or may not apply to them. The fact is that they don't know, and I think it's irresponsible to vbac at home or in a free-standing center when you just don't know. I might be biased on this one, though, having experienced needing a crash cart after one birth due to massive bleeding, and experiencing more massive bleeding (albeit to a lesser extent) after another. That fear that goes with wondering if you're going to leave your child motherless as you're in and out of consciousness is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and it really is a concern for some of these women.

  4. Great post and hilarious - keep 'em coming!
    I don't read the news either or watch it but somehow I know what is happening... its everywhere anyway.

  5. Actually i have one for the moment....

    My first one includes getting a boy friend and going on a world trip on a bike or something but then sometimes i think why need a boy friend? and then i think of going alone.

  6. Ratz, maybe if you set off on a trip, doing something you loved, you'd meet someone? Hmmmmm...

  7. I won't drink anything with bits in it. I too am allowed to eat on the couch & have a drink near the computer, the kids, aren't. My roadtrip seems far off, but not yet at the point, where this makes me desperate. Sure it is only a matter of time. I don't think you're an irresponsible American for not wanting to watch the bad shit on the news. It makes you a happier American probably :)

  8. Omigod I am nearly wetting myself. Laughing, of course. Huge thumbs up. Did you really prefer the epidural?? That's not very zen.

    Who is this Badu woman? and what does her alone, have to do with, groupthink anyway?

    My original, naked thought- one should not insert a diaphragm upside down. No, wait, that was yesterday. How 'bout- these pretzels are making me thirsty? No? What about- Will strip for iPhone?

  9. that's a post just begging to be turned into a meme. Except that unfortunately wouldn't be very original. Damn.

  10. I love that some, ahem, "artist" gets her kit off in order to promote herself (very original thinking, surprised no one has thought of it before) prompts some numpty to say "thank you, because your being brave, i no longer feel afraid to say what i really feel." Twitter folk crack me up.

    Not sure about the whole getting naked in public thing though, the sight of my chipolata flapping about in the breeze puts ME off my tea, never mind anyone else!

  11. I think we should all carry a boiled egg with us. When someone says something we do not like, we simply show them our "friend" and reply...

    ... "tell it to the egg"...

    ...Should be interesting...

  12. I feel liberated by your mango confession, friend. And I so appreciate you not romanticizing childbirth.

    I gotta say I think you are awfully free of the shackles of groupthink already, but it's good to keep working that muscle!

  13. And wow - Star Child...don't think I want to carry around an egg, but LOVE the idea of having such a clear way out of conversational unpleasantness.

  14. Men can't do that. If I started to shed my clothes in Stadtpark I would be arrested immediately and put away somewhere white and quiet.

  15. Unless of course I was 30 years old with a six pack - then I would be mobbed by protective women. But I am 60 years old with a fat pack.

  16. Ok, I don't have an original thought in my head. Not anymore. But I do have opinions/remarks to your blog post and assorted comments. So here they go:
    * I, too, love the look and smell of a mango, and though I'm not gay, I have kissed a woman and it was... soft.
    *I ran through a field of huge sunflower plants many times when I lived in Kansas as a kid. It left scratches, but I can smell the experience to this day.
    *Obama is not Australian, but some say he's not American either. And it may be his power that intoxicates you. And it may be intoxicating him.
    *Both of my births were c-section, and though the first was somewhat of an emergency and the 2nd was more painful, I wouldn't trade those for the tearing of my ladyhole and the stinging of the pee for the next few weeks. I hate pee stinging. Hate it.
    *I took my 11 year old to a shrink yesterday because of some "fear issues," and she suggested we stop letting her watch the news. And no more 20/20. In a little book called, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" many years ago, I read that you shouldn't watch the news or read the paper, because if there's something out there that will affect you, someone will tell you about it.
    *@Accidently Mommy - I, too, try not to wear bras unless I have to, though I really should, and I'm a strong opponent of vbac at home, though I've never told anyone this.
    *@MrXmas - you'll know by her scars.
    *@So Now What? - I think refusing to drink fluids containing solids is a sign of intelligence, and, might I say, evolution in general. It's what sets us apart from the animals.
    *Star Child - during my last plane ride, this middle aged lady came in feverishly leaking some fluid from her tote bag. She sat right behind me. Several people pointed it out, so she lifted up a sandwich bag filled with a peeled, hard-boiled egg in it. She had been leaking egg water. She was also the one outwardly moaning and sobbing when we hit turbulence.

    That's all for now.

  17. That's my Tammy. Never at a loss for words.

    P.S. Am not intoxicated by power. Perhaps you are thinking of Bush?

  18. Obama is sexy. It has nothing to do with power. He just is. Hm..[thinking]...,running naked with President Obama in a wheat field, now that would be something!

  19. Your commenters are many, varied, and much cleverer than me. I agree with 83% of what they said.

  20. * I used to garden topless in a pink flowing hippie skirt on my semi-secluded 5 acres in Montana. The sunflowers shielded me from any possible gawkers. :-)
    * I gave birth to my second child at home and wouldn't do it any other way. It was 1000% better than having an epidural and episiotomy, which I didn't require, because I wasn't going against nature by laying flat on my back. I gave birth squatting on the floor like a Native American woman, and my son with his big fat head came right on out without a single tear. And then I went to sleep in my very own bed. People still think I'm crazy 24 years later, but I always quietly ask myself "How do they think their ancestral women gave birth?" And no...I would not have given birth at home if I or my son were in anyway at risk, and we were minutes from the nearest hospital, just in case.
    * I'm not entirely too displeased to learn that Sarah Palin is my distant cousin. She does have a few good qualities...a few.
    * Artists who think they are being original and profound are just being stupid most of the time. I know...I used to be one of them.
    * I'm beginning to believe there is such a thing as "too much knowledge and education." What's the point of getting a masters degree in literature when you have no plans of doing anything with it? And why has the news devolved into providing information that's useful only for a game of Trivial Pursuit? All of this information in the name of education and knowledge is just clouding what's really important and also leading us to believe we are pseudo-experts on topics we actually know nothing about. That can be dangerous.

  21. God i love love love this blog and all the fabulous comments from your fabulous friends.
    And yes, obama is sexy, and the sexiest thing i've seen him do is swat and kill a fly with one precision swoop of his hand. Not very zen, but uber uber cool.
    I salute you.

  22. Naked thoughts?
    OMG yes, President Obama is sexy. I could never run naked anywhere because I'd be self conscious about the jiggle in my thighs, which is also one of the reasons I run in pants and rarely wear shorts at all, ever. The other reasons are I sunburn easily and I don't like how shorts ride up when I run and can't make that not happen.

  23. Haha love it! But I had no idea mangoes were associated with lesbians....back in the day when I was a lesbian that may have been really handy to know.

  24. Running naked through a field of wheat, wouldn't that be scratchy and horrible? Like sex in a haystack, not something I'd recommend. (I've never had sex in a haystack, but I have played in one, moved hay, sat on haybales and really, I can only *imagine* how much worse it feels when you're nude. Just say no)

  25. Seriously, she died 3 days after you told her that?! That's a bit creepy-ish.

    PS. Happy Blog Carnival Day oh Fearless Blog Carnival Queen. Hehe.

  26. Hmmmm. I remember watching a moth sitting on the television and watching the colours change underneath the wings...


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