Thursday, May 20, 2010

WTF Australia ?!?

I was reading this morning on Badger's blog that the religious conservatives in the Australian parliament have quietly changed the regulations for incoming visitors to the country. If you're traveling from overseas, you will now be asked if you are carrying pornography and customs officials have the right to search your belongings, including your electronic devices, looking for titillating bits. Furthermore, the legislation does not define pornography. That definition is left up to the individual customs agents searching through your hard drives.

The first thing I want to know is this. Why does Australia have religious wing-nuts in government? Isn't that an American tradition? Aren't you edging onto our turf? Back off there, Australia.

Secondly, you know my dream is to someday live on your golden shores. You are my Shangri-La. Don't go all Americanized on me. If I wanted to live in a bastion of finger-wagging right-wing oppression, I'd move to Kansas.

Finally, what if my definition of art is your definition of pornography? For instance, a customs official could be searching through the documents on my hard drive and find this:

This could well lead to questioning about my recent affair with Bryan Brown of 20 years ago, which honestly, is nobody's business. And things could become even more uncomfortable if this was then discovered...

So Australia, please, mind your own damn business. Keep your paws off my electronic pornographic material and leave the big-brotherish tactics to other domineering countries with a much higher state-to-nation ratio that have already perfected invasive and condescending airport searches.


Thinking, thinking....

Hold on a minute. Remembering this post.

Quickly reloading all files with any sexual content back onto my computer.

And hello Australia!


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  1. Hubba da dubba..... LOL Kristin... enjoyed this post LOL-ing..... if he be the customs officer.... Australia here i come..... with ahem all possible porn i could get.....


  2. Kristin, you are so fucking funny. There is just no other way to say it!

  3. Do you take requests? If so, I would like a little something featuring Steve Martin, Gerard Butler and myself. My birthday is in January...take your time... ; )

  4. I was just having the conversation the other day with a work buddy - we now have 2 options in the up-coming elections - and both of them are fundamentalist Christians. I have no issue with any religion - I just don't think it should be in politics in a secular country. I am not a fan of pornography either - but it is your business if you have it - although if it involves children well that is another matter.

  5. Hi Wanderlust,

    I have to say there are a whole lot of us over here in Aus that are confused about the whole religious conservatism of the current government.

    This side of our current leadership certainly wasn't communicated the the electorate before Big Kev took power. Between the proposed, and being rammed through, internet firewall to protect the morals of minors to this last piece of legislation it's all supremely scary. That said they are probably going to win the next election... our other choice is an openly female repressive, self confessed fudger of the truth leader with a party that still has prominent party members who are open about their belief that anthropogenic climate chaos exists. If we could get the Greens in power we might have a chance but middle Australia isn't going to give a majority vote to an "untried" party they are still way too comfortable for that. Welcome to Australia's two party system...

    Kind Regards

  6. @ Belinda, I've been reading a bit about your potential candidates and it is scary, and surprising. The UK is leaning more conservative, Australia seems to be headed that way for the next election, and I'm nervous about what 2012 will bring for us.

    @ Kakka, not a fan of pornography either, btw, but I can't believe anyone would search electronic devices and hard drives looking for it. That is just insane.

  7. How is it you know more about what's happening here than I do....?

  8. @ Lori, because I read Vienna for Dummies. Which, uh, is a lot about Australia, and sometimes about Vienna too. And other Aussie blogs that rant about politics. I used to read the Sydney Morning Herald, but I gave up on that when my google reader got too full and I had to make a choice about how I spent my readerly time.

  9. It's insane isn't it? Right wing christians on one side, right wing christians on another and no middle ground. (I'm not voting for either of them, so THERE Australia!)

  10. Clarifying - no middle ground likely to end up with power. There is a middle ground (The Greens) but they're unlikely to ever have a prime minister. Which um, damn.

  11. Clearly, what's needed is an AussieMummyBloggers party.

    God I hate politics. Hate it with a passion.

  12. Ah, that explains things. I read the Telegraph.

  13. I'd vote for the AussieMummyBloggers party. Um, if I were Australian and had a vote there of course.

  14. Australia is becoming the laughing stock of the world with it's new found priggishness. We fought 500 years to get the church out of government, and have put the bloody thing right back in. Have we learned NOTHING from history?


    I have an award for you. You can get it at Life...
    Oh, there is a little meme too. LOL


  15. Funny y'all are saying that (I like pullin' out my southern drawl when I talk politics) because Canada is going all Conservative as well - Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a right wing Christian, or should I call him a white wing Christian? anyways, trouble is ahead...

  16. Kristin, there are many problems in the land I call home. So many of us are completely oblivious to the erosion of our civil rights. How many Australians realize that the current system of welfare control imposed on Indigenous Australians in the Northern Territory as part of the so-called Emergency Response is to be extended to all welfare recipients in the entire country? A single mother on welfare? You could have half of your welfare payments dogmatically withheld to cover rent, food and the like. Even a former Chief Justice of Victoria is alarmed by the current invective of our leaders. (

    Pornography was a sore irritated by an exhibition by internationally recognized photographer, Bill Henson in 2008 and has just been the subject of a legislative bill in NSW. I think the fallout of his battle has left a lot of people wondering about the conservatism of our current factional leaders. (See

    Our Federal leaders even think it necessary to censor our internet (seems our PM has learned more from China than just a dialect); apparently the majority of parents are incapable of monitoring and managing the information their own children access.

    Howard instigated the Intervention & lied about Children Overboard (how did we ever re-elect him after that?). My local federal member is none other than Peter Garrett, former member of the Nuclear Disarmament Party, now a Labor MP who approved a uranium mine in South Australia last year. I'm not totally anti-mining, but I can recognize a back-flip when I see one. "...and nothing's as precious, as a hole in the ground..." So much for "Blue Sky Mining"! I despair for the conservatism that is surreptitiously seeping into our governing bodies. At the coming election, I will again be looking to the minority parties that hopefully, will be able to “keep the b*&%#$^s honest”, as was once the cry.

  17. please take our religious nut jobs. please.

  18. Aussie politics is a very sad state of affairs these days. It has a lot to do with the sad state of our mainstream media, who seem to be happy to publish press releases as is (when they've finished trolling forums and facebook pages for quotes). I stopped reading the SMH online because it was becoming too hard to see the articles for the ads.
    Our former PM did a very good job in quashing dissenting voices while he was in power, and we don't seem to have recovered yet. I think that a general apathy regarding public discussion and politics in Oz has a lot of do with that.

  19. What about 3 oz. of lubricant that is declared in a gallon size ziploc bag? Is that ok?

  20. Aww you did make me chuckle with this post.
    what ever would they say if they unearthed your massive pink rabbit?


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