Friday, July 30, 2010

Diagnosis: oh,never mind

So.  I went to see the eye specialist today.  Remember all that?  Weird spot on my eye, probably nothing, but oh my god I might be going blind, just in case I'm not going to make any Glenn Beck jokes.

It turns out that it's a loss of pigmentation in my left macula, which is pretty much harmless, but which to a non-retinal-specialist can look a lot like insidious forms of macular disease. So I'm not losing my eyesight.  Though I'm still terribly near-sighted.  And my pupils are now the size of small dinner plates.

So you know what this means.  Sorry Glenn.  Let the tasteless joke marathon commence.

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

5 things I miss about being a kid

Short and sweet today.  I haven't been feeling myself lately, so I'm leaving you with some pictures.  I'm paying homage to the uncomplicated pleasures of childhood.  I wish for all of us the gift of finding joy in the simplest of pursuits, and with the same grace and abandon as our children.

Yes, they own swimsuits, but they were all the way upstairs

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Meme whore

Last Saturday I took some time to get away and write and the kids' dad took them down to a neighboring town to ride an old 1920's era deisel train.  The kids thought they had died and gone to heaven.

They hopped aboard the train for the hour-long excursion.  Where were they headed?

It was purely for the sake of enjoyment. 

Daniel was especially pleased, as he has designs on being a train engineer when he grows up.  Anna was happy just being along for the ride.

It was hot that day.  The heat index was over 100 degrees and the cars were not air conditioned.  But the kids found a way to beat the heat.

I'm glad he took his camera along so I could enjoy their day vicariously.  I loved seeing their broad smiles and hearing their excited stories when they returned.  Because when my kids are happy, i-Happy.

Oh, and what have I done this week?

Looked at homes for sale
Eaten my way through a bag of inferior chocolate
Mistook water-resistant sunscreen for waterproof, resulting in painful sunburns for my children, and
Almost caused a bru ha ha over on Frog Ponds Rock
(but Kim still loves me)
And those are my....

Sunday Snippets

And this?

This is just me.  In a shop window.

Just Me
So can I do this?  Or will the meme police come and get me?  And if so, are they good looking?
And Sarah are you still doing your meme?
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Me and Glenn Beck. God dammit.

I was reading today that Glenn Beck came out and announced that he may be going blind and my first inclination was to think well hey, now all he needs to do is go deaf and he will have achieved the grand trifecta of afflictions.

The article said that he had been diagnosed with something called macular dystrophy and when I saw that a bell went off. A small, persistent and slightly alarming bell.

You see, I went in for my annual eye examination last week and all was going swimmingly, as usual. I popped in my new contacts and when asked to read the eye charts I covered my left eye and rattled off a string of letters. When I went to do the same with the other eye, I noticed I couldn’t make out the letters. “Do you think you have the prescription correct?“ I asked the doctor. He nodded yes. “Well, perhaps there is something on the lens.” I said.

At this point he pulled up a photograph he had taken of my left eye and pointed to a yellow spot on my retina. He said it was an area of swelling and he wanted me to go to a retinal specialist to have it checked out. He said these spots can sometimes be caused by stress, that he didn’t want to alarm me, but if it progresses it can lead to loss of vision within six months. He was talking about macular dystrophy.

I left his office feeling flummoxed and mildly alarmed. This was not at all what I had expected. I decided to assume the best and shove it to the back of my mind until I had seen the specialist, which I haven’t yet done. After all, I have been under a great deal of stress and he did say that was a possible factor. And I had almost managed to forget about it completely until I read about Glenn Beck.

But I’m not going to worry too much. After all, I’ve lost more than my share of chips at medical roulette over the last several years. Remember fuck cancer and all that? I figure I’ve built up some good diagnostic karma. But just in case, I’m going to try really hard to refrain from making any more Glenn Beck jokes. As much as I’d love to wonder out loud how he’s going to tie this to Obama’s alignment with Hitler or, wow, muse at the irony of his not being able to find affordable health insurance should he lose his job with Fox. I. Just. Won’t.


I'll view this as an opportunity to muster up some empathy for Beck.  I wouldn't wish blindness or, for that matter, any physical affliction on anyone.  Humility, open-mindedness, compassion, tolerance and grace perhaps.  But not physical affliction.  And please don’t worry about me, because I’m not fretting. I’ll wait until I have something concrete to go on before I beg for your sympathy (in the form of chocolate). Either way, I give you free reign to make tasteless jokes at my expense.

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Sunday, July 18, 2010

I'm sticking with thundercyclone

Kansas.  One minute it's all blue skies and 95 degree weather and you're tooling along down the road behind some WTF piece of farm equipment.

Hmmm... think I can drive under it?

You pick up the kids from camp and hey, look at that, that's a pretty ominous looking wall of dark clouds on the horizon.  Stop on the way home to grab a movie and when you walk back outside the rain has just started to fall.  Jump in the car and by the time you're at the far end of the parking lot you decide to pull over and park because, um, it now looks like this:


In fact, the wind is blowing so hard that it's buffeting your parked car and debris is hitting the side of it and the trees are bent over in such a fashion that it brings to mind images of gulf coast hurricanes and you expect at any second to see Anderson Cooper go flying by your windshield clutching a CNN microphone.  And now, oh crap, it's hailing. 

Even though you are secretly thrilled by violent weather, you are beginning to get a bit scared.  But not so scared that you don't have the presence of mind to pick up your phone and make a quick "holy f*ck" status update to your Facebook page.

Your kids are asking why you're not driving, are pointing out other cars that are still on the road, are in fact giving you encouragement ("Come on Mommy, you can do it!") and you in turn are pointing out a gushing river of water now dissecting the shopping center parking lot and decide your children do not have a proper appreciation for their own mortality and wonder if this has something to do with the movies you let them watch.

And then suddenly, as quickly as it started, it is over.

On the short drive home, which is perhaps ten blocks, you pass six trees that have been knocked down by the storm.

You use this as a teaching opportunity to explain to your children (who are not listening) why you don't drive in violent storms (because they are busy looking out the window at all the destruction).

When you get home you check your Facebook page to see that your friend who is a storm chaser has left a comment on your status to the effect of "Wahoo!"  And you write him and ask "What the hell was that?!? Just a really badass storm of did it have some special classification like thundercyclone?"  And he said it was probably a storm with a lot of microbursts.  And you have to google microbursts and it still doesn't make a lot of sense to you so you decide to stick with thundercyclone.

Because hey, as long as you have to live in the wrong country, at least it's somewhere exciting.  And that makes you happy.


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Saturday, July 17, 2010

A gift

Some days the right person comes along at the right time
and reaches inside the churning maw of chaos and doubt
we have slipped within
opens a hand
we take hold
and choose to walk out

It's funny how a few well-placed words can offer clarity
and the world tilts
slides open
a sigh escapes our weary hearts
and we realize we've been holding our breath
for years

And quite suddenly we know the singular joy
of sitting deeply in the stillness of our own truth
our power
our plenary selves

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

AMB Blog Carnival - Round II

Did you read all those links from day one of the blog carnival?  Yes?  I gave you a day off there to catch your breath.  And okay, put up a quick post yesterday about boobs just to see if you were paying attention.  But now we're back in action with more, more, more great reads from the members of Aussie Mummy Bloggers.  So sit down, grab a cuppa, tell your boss you're in an important meeting, put on a mindless cartoon for the kids, and get reading!

* * * * * * * *

Sarah from Just Me - My post is about the post natal depression I had after the birth of my son in 2005. I explain what saved me from going over the edge, even though it was a silly thing to use!

Catherine Lowe from Little Gift - My favorite post at the moment is one I feel everyone should read, children or no children – it’s about some recent discoveries on my journey to better health for my family & I. I will note though, it’s interesting that prior to my babe I didn’t care enough for myself to take notice of this kind of information, isn’t it amazing how we tune in once it’s for someone else now.

VF at Vintage Fokus - Baby nursery before, after and everything in between - a pregnant woman high on nesting instincts!
Baby Nursery

Rosie Jo at Rosie's Growing Snow Peas - A humorous reflection on my favorite subject - people watching- while on holiday in the spectacular Whitsundays. People are funny creatures! And fun to write about.
Things You Must Do While at Hamilton

Veronica at Veronica Foale - Sometimes everything gets too much and I hide from my children. I'm not the best mother in the world, but I know, I'm the best one for my kids, even when it's hard.

Alison at Melbourne Mumma - I’m a hip, on-trend, groovy Mum. And here’s why.
Skivvy is Back

Kim at Frog Ponds Rock - Who didn't send me a description but hey, looks like it's about S.E.X.
Let's Talk About Sex

Kelly at Be A Fun Mum - "Discipline is when you stretch out your hand to guide, but now steer, another along Life's journey." One day, I felt burdened to write about this tricky subject. I've put this post up for the Blog Carnival because I put so much thought into the post and I'm proud of that. It helped me to be clearer about what I want to achieve whilst training my children.

Marthese at Romantic Flair Original - This is quite a sad post but I thought I'd share it as it one of my most personal shared experiences that I've written about.
Prayers for a Friend

This Growing Life - Colder days have kept the crew at This Growing Life out of the garden, and looking for fun indoor activities for the Bros (aged 1.5 and 3.5). This post shows how we made our own butter to go between homemade bread and quince jelly.
Homemade Bread and Butter

Jade at Jadeluxe - Moving to a tiny Chinese fishing village in the South China Sea has been a bucolic seachange, not least of all because here it's the norm to have a live-in maid to look after the kids and do the cooking and cleaning and shopping. The neighbourhood vilification, complete with outrageous accusations of throwing dirty poo nappies into the garden instead of the bin? Not so idyllic...
Kings v Kongs: Littering, Villification and One Nude Dead Guy
Abby at Two Little Dicky Birds - My favourite project: I found this worn dressing table at a local second hand store and gave it a fresh new look.
Before and After Dressing Table
Annie at Living Life As Me - A post about Red Shoes helped me to understand love. Mother love. Not mine for my children, but mine for the mothers in my life. The comments on this post were more overwhelming to me than actually writing it. Powerful and very moving. (Editor's note: loved this post, it made me cry!)
How Red Shoes Taught Me About Love
Ash at Mm's is for me's blog - Our treasured keepsake gives us a laugh or smile each time we open it. Its full of little phrases from our little man that we don’t want to forget. And its so easy to make your own!
Remarks to Remember - Precious Words to Treasure
Sharon at Hear Mum Roar - How do you react when you see someone else’s child having a tantrum?
How to be a Good Witness to Other People's Kids Having Tantrums
Nellbe at Nellbe's Scribblings - Being a mummy first time around is hard, but second time around is even harder. Nellbe suggests that if you know a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc time mum give her a hand!
Katherine Holland at The Mummy Diaries - Somewhere between 2005 and yesterday, I sprouted a moustache.
Fu Manchu
A Cajun Down Under - “Wiggle at breakfast, lunch or tea”.... TEA? TEA?  A story about two people speaking the same language and yet… not.
Wiggle at Breakfast, Lunch or Tea?
Lara at Lara's Blog (Extremely Nappies) - A post about the weird transformations that happen in pregnancy.
Odd Changes
Tenille at Help!Mum - It's that time in my Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle where we check that copious quantities of tiny white pills have done their job and beaten my poor little ovaries into submission. A simple blood test doesn't cut it, we wanna have a look.
Ovary Investigations with the Work Experience Girl

Megan at The Byron Life - Join Megan as she tours the home and studio of one of Byron Bay’s most colourful artists, Donna Sharam.
Donna's Art House

Candy Jubb at Candy's Family - I was dared to post the labour of my seventh child on Twitter, here is how it played out.
Tweeting My Birth

Wowness!  You made it to the end.  Thanks to every one who particpated.  Awesome.  And we're doing it again next month over at Lori's blog, Random Ramblings of a SAHM.  If you want to participate, look out for a message coming soon on the AMB Blog Carnival forum.  Not yet a member?  Click here to join!

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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Have you voted for Veronica's boobs?

Seriously. I have and so can you. Because women are showing some boobage for a good cause this week and you have the chance to vote for your favorite set. It's Bewb Fest '10 and every vote raises money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

Come on guys. How often do you get a free pass to go look at boobs on the internet? If your woman walks in and says “Ohmygodwhatareyoudoing!?!” just tell her, “It's cool babe, I'm raising money for breast cancer research.”

I'm really happy to show Veronica my support. I mean, it would have been nice if she had told me about this, because, let's be honest, how fun would that have been to show some boobie for a good cause? But that's okay. I'm good with that. I mean, I can just wait until... well, a whole year from now when Bewb Fest 'll comes around.

But hey, go here to read Veronica's post and she'll tell you where to find her ta-tas. Oh, and you can vote as many times as you want. Vote early, vote often!  There's even some man boobs to admire.

Wow, seriously, I would have so loved to be a part of this. I suppose there's always Boobquake in April. That's what? Nine months away?

Anyway, after you vote, why not come back and read some of the great posts from the AMB Blog Carnival. And clear out your readers because the second installment is coming tomorrow!

Now, go vote for Veronica's boobs.

No one ever tells me about opportunities to show gratuitous cleavage.
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride...

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Monday, July 12, 2010

AMB Blog Carnival

Aussie Mummy Bloggers, Australia's premiere community where parenting bloggers come together for ideas and support is launching their first ever blog carnival and I have the honor of hosting it here on my site for July.  This will be a monthly event where AMB members (currently over 350) submit their best posts from the previous month to be featured together in one place.  A different blogger will host the event each month.  We had 55 submissions this month and I'm breaking them down into two posts.  I hope you bookmark this page and take the time to come back and read as many of these posts as possible.   The second round of posts will go up in two days.

Posts have gone up in the order they were received.  (I decided to stick my own down near the bottom after Lori's, because it just belonged there, which will make sense if you choose to read both of them.)  Participants, please feel free to grab the button I've made, which is on the sidebar to the right, and put it on your blog so your readers can find their way here.

But for now, grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy some quality reading!

 * * * * * * *

Lucy at Diminishing Lucy - An inspiring post that details the true “before and after” choices of Lucy, a mum to three, who has finally lost weight and given up smoking.
The True Before and After

Monique at Your Cheeky Monkey - For first time Mums, it is a very important and confusing issue to know just exactly what products what you need and what products you don’t need for your newborn baby.
What Products You Really Need for Your Newborn

Megan Blandford at Writing Out Loud - The story of a baby and an ageing labrador meeting and learning to be the best of friends.
Taylor and Abbey

Christie at Home Grown Mama - This post is the story of the light bulb parenting moment I had and the connection I went on to make with my son.
We've Made Connection

Tiff at Three Ring Circus - A simple procedure goes wrong and how Ivy and Noah and I got through it.
The Infusion Lounge

Naomi Ellis at Seven Cherubs - Raising seven cherubs and wondering...
Does my Butt Look Big With This Bus?

Emma at Mommy Has a Headache - Manners 101: What's the etiquette when your daughter's piano teacher hassles you to join a cult?
A Finger Lickin' Good Cult

Shelly at Tropical Mom - I looked back to see which of my posts got the most comments, and this one did by far. I don't know what possessed me to share this story the first time around or what possesses me to share it now, but enjoy!
Embarrassing Fart Story

Bern Morley at So Now What? - My daughter's tales of fake lives & beatches. You'll never look at a Year 1 journal the same, ever again.
Story Tellah

Haley Williams at Life on Venus - Are we being irresponsible parents by offering toddlers pretend coffee or is it just harmless fun?
The Babycino

Corrie at Retro Mummy - This is the biggest quilt I've made so far, quilted on my trusty home sewing machine. I made it for my daughter's room and she is one happy customer.
Nicey Jane

Marita (Leechbabe) at Stuff With Thing - Poop on a plate, all you ever needed and didn't want to know about stool sample collection.
Stool Sample Collection

Lauren at Sparkling Adventures - When people tried to tell me what to expect when starting a family, no one warned me that my laundry habits would be sabotaged, unless they meant to include the general idea in the phrase “everything will be different”.
Laundry Headlines

Katiegirl at The Life and Times of an Ordinary Girl - Do you know what you're eating, and what is in the water you drink? And how about what's in your beauty cabinet? You might be surprised to know....One mother and her mission to raise awareness of what's REALLY going on.
Are We Being Poisoned?

MumtoJ - a letter to myself, aged 17, from me as I am today.
A Letter to Myself

Tanya at Living Right Now - This particular post is about saving the world, which is not a regular topic, but is close to my heart.S
Save the World for Free

Gill & Nic at Our Park Life - Carrie Bradshaw talked of "Secret Single Behaviour" - But we are willing to place a bet that it is not only Singles who have Secret Behaviours. We'll tell you ours if you tell us yours...
What's Your Secret Behaviour?

Holly Homemaker at Good Golly Miss Holly - Pregnancy announcements, birth announcements, plans to get busy makin' babies - It must be the fashion, or people are in dire need of a hobby because everywhere I go I am greeted with exciting updates live from someone's uterus!
Just One More...or Maybe Two

Cait at Caitlyn Nicholas - B&B decor horror - or how I came to be in a situation where I thought the coffee table was my daughter AND I was sober.
Sign of the Times

Zoey Martin at Good Goog - Turning two. It's more than just saying goodbye to the baby, it's about starting a relationship as two separate people.
Last Days of One

Lori at Random Ramblings of a SAHM - I'm such a sucker. You wanna see a ghost photo?
I See Dead People on my Imaginary iPhone

Kristin at Wanderlust - ZOMG, what nakedly original thoughts pop into your mind (and out of your mouth) when released from the shackles of groupthink?
Naked Thoughts Running Down the Sidewalk of My Mind

Nikki Parkinson at Styling You - I wrote this blog back in February when no-one was really talking about jeggings – well, a few people were – and there were some expensive ones available at stores I’ve never been in! It’s amazing how a few months can make a difference. I saw jeggings on sale at Supre yesterday for $25. This post is still one of the most popular in terms of visits and searched for topics via Google to my blog.
Get Your Jeggings on This Winter

Chavah Kinloch at Creating My Reality - What is it you want you children to learn in life? What are the lessons you've learned and want to share? I sat down to write one evening and this is what came out.
101 Things I Want My Children to Learn

Fiona at Welcome to the Madhouse - I have 3 children, a girl and 2 boys. Both of my sons have autism, this puts a lot of pressure on the family dynamic and this post reflects the importance of remembering my daughter and her needs amongst the circus that is our life!
Be Careful You Don't Miss it - The Sibling Effect

BabyMac - The post was about making some BIG life decisions, having a mental breakdown and trying to work out this whole mother/wife/me thing. Yes, THAT old chestnut! The title of the post says it all really....
The One Where I Dropped ALL the Balls

DaniiBeauty - A few words of wisdom about being positive and how to keep on smiling - you have to read it! We all need encouragment at times, it can make a difference!
Keep on Smiling, It Will Get Better

Wow!  Did you get all that?  That's a lot of links!  And there's more coming in two days.

Thanks to everyone who submitted.  If you'd like to learn more about Aussie Mummy Bloggers or the blog carnival, visit here.

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Saturday, July 10, 2010

We have a winner!

Drumroll please...

Hey!  It's time to draw the name of the winner of the big Giveaway Bonanza. Remember that? Thirty-three Australian residents signed up for a chance to win a package of goodies designed to inspire their writing muse.  Microsoft Office 2010, a beautiful journal, a pen to doodle in said journal, irrelevant heart-shaped stickers, some books to read, coffee and tea to imbibe, and a gorgeous 5-year-old child.

Can we have a name please?  Reach in deep, shuffle them around, stop smirking elder child and...

Anna, can you show us what name he pulled out?**

Tenille from Help!Mum!!  Yay Tenille!!

I'm so excited! Love Tenille. She lives in Wollongong. Or Sydney. Or somewhere between Sydney and Wollongong.  Anyway, she sometimes blogs - cover your ears children - about dildos (not making this up).

Okay, (packing packing) is that everything?  And remember what I said, baby?
If the customs guy tries to take the coffee just bite his hand.

Be a good boy okay?  Send Mommy lots of postcards with pretty pictures.  I like
Uluru.  Lifeguards are good too.  Mmm, really going to miss you sweetie.

Okay Tenille.  I just need your address now.  Can you send it to me at kb@flaghussy dot com?  Microsoft guy will mail you the software and I'll mail you the rest of the loot. 

Danny will love love love your little girl.  He's great with toddlers.
Will probably need a potty break first thing when he arrives.  And a sandwich.

Thanks everyone for participating in the giveaway!  Let's do it again sometime (and let everyone play, regardless of whether I crush on their countrymen)

* For those of you who read something last night about a video, er, that didn't quite work out.  Something about 5 hours of sleep, a kid's birthday party and me sucking at technology.  Maybe next time hey.

** Full discosure: name actually chosen by and planted in hat.  Just to be totally fair.  This may explain smirk on elder child's face.  Don't judge me.

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Friday, July 9, 2010

The Lusty Awards

Because it's Friday where you are and it's the middle of the night where I am and I've stayed up way too late watching naked rugby and basically jacking around on the computer, I thought what the hey, let's give out some awards.  So here we go.  Sit down, strap in, grab a tall one, I'm presenting...

The Lusty Awards

World's Best Metaphor Award goes to Mrs Woog. Poor Woog is a bit under the weather and reported yesterday that her throat feels as if she’s been performing fellatio on a cactus. Way to go, Einstein. Next time try a handjob.

The Prolonged Silence in a Foreign Country Award goes to Badger at Vienna for Dummies who, after resting up from his trip to Lebanon (where, I might add, he managed to post regularly), flew off to Australia and has been gallivanting there for days (days!) and hasn’t posted anything. I won’t even bother linking to his blog since he hasn’t posted anything (anything!). That jetlag is a killer, isn't it dear?

The Now Why Didn’t I Think of That Award goes to Melissa at The Things I'd Tell You for coming up finally with the only sensible solution to the oil spill. Hello BP, are you listening?

Melissa’s brilliant solution

Hello? BP? Um, hey....does anyone answer the customer service line? Oh! Hello! Great, you're there! Hey, my friend had this fantastic idea and I was wondering if ya'll had considered trying... what's that? You want me to what? Why no, I don't think I'm flexible enough to.... Well %$#@& you too!

You Seriously Need to Update Your 1960's Literature Collection goes to the ring of Soviet spies arrested over the weekend in the U.S. whose bag o' spy tricks included writing notes in invisible ink and passing identical briefcases to each other in crowded train stations. What? No secret decoder rings?

The I Would Kill You if my Breast Were Not Trapped Between Two Cold Metal Plates Award goes to me for not killing the woman who performed my mammogram tonight.  God dammit.

Big Heart and Stinky Feet Award goes to the Hadrian walkers who are trekking 84 miles in 6 days across England to raise money for the Joseph Salmon Fund, which offers financial support to parents whose children have died. You can sponsor one of the walk's organizers, Dan Hughes from All That Comes With It here or comment at Frog Ponds Rock and Kim will generously give a dollar on your behalf.
I can't believe I'm missing the kickoff!

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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I think I've just become a sports fan

So you know my life has been one big puddle of stress lately and I've been having a good whinge about it now and then here on my blog (and to whomever makes the poor decision to stand still around me for too many seconds) and it was suggested to me recently that perhaps I should find something novel to take my mind off of all this fucked-up-edness. And I said, “Oh, as if,” and then made a sweeping gesture with my hand to indicate the impossibility of fitting anything new into my already overcrowded life.

But then I happened across a post on Eva's blog today that caught my eye and thought that perhaps, just perhaps I could shuffle a few things around and find some time to enjoy a new hobby. Because did you know there is such a thing as naked rugby?

Indeed there is.

Hoo to the ya ya ya!




And hows about:

Hello boys. I think I've just become a sports fan.
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Sunday, July 4, 2010


On Friday I took Anna to a pediatric dental specialist. It seems she is going to need extensive work done on her teeth. Her adult teeth are insufficiently calcified and will need to be reinforced. I spent a good two weeks beating myself up for not being able to keep down calcium supplements (or anything else) while I was pregnant. But when we got to the specialist he said no, adult teeth actually form in the first year of life and it has little to do with diet, his own daughter had the same problem, and I could stop flagellating myself.

They gave her some Vicodin and nitrous oxide and promised me she wouldn't feel a thing. She was going to have a cap put on one of her back molars, which the dentist said was “as soft as butter”. But as soon as they started the procedure she started to cry and complain of pain. The crying intensified and soon she began to wail, a long, slow, low-pitched wail that I'm sure carried throughout the entire office. I crawled over the equipment and sat beside her on the chair, stroking her arm. It got worse. Before long she was flailing and I had to physically restrain her while they worked as quickly as possible to finish the cap. While I've had to restrain my children for shots before, I've never had to do it for a 20-excruciating-minute procedure. By the end of it we were both crying.

When it was done they plied her with stickers and gifts, gave her a popsicle and I carefully led her, wobbly and tear-stained, to the car.

You may be wondering why I would include something like this in Brenda's meme.


Well, here is why.

Near the end of the procedure, just when I thought I would sell my own soul to the devil in exchange for a good set of teeth for my daughter, the dental assistant leaned over and said to me: “She's not going to remember any of this. So tell her she did really well.”

After Anna had been home for a few hours and the drugs had worn off and she could walk from the couch to the kitchen without doing a face plant, she took to admiring her new silver cap. I asked if she remembered having it put on. She scrunched up her face a bit. “Not really,” she said, “do you?”

“Yes,” I said, “and you did great.  I'm really proud of you.”

She smiles a bit here, and I'm glad to see it. Because bless her little butter-soft teeth, she's going to be making many more trips back to the dentist. What I want her to remember is that when she walks out of there, she takes with her an armload of kid booty and the knowledge that she shored up well under pressure.

I, on the other hand, may need a good, stiff drink when I get home.

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