Sunday, April 10, 2011

Seeds of Hope

Two weeks ago there was snow on the ground but now it is balmy and warm, hot even. Tomorrow it will cool off. Such is spring in Kansas. The warm weather makes me think of planting flowers and even though I don't want to stay here, don't plan on staying any longer than I have to, I am overcome with the urge to plant something. I feel like as long as I have to walk in and out the door every day, I want to have something beautiful to look at.

I have a number of containers that I plant every year. Petunias are my favorite. They are boldly colorful, sweet smelling and take well to both shade and hot sun. The rhythmic exercise of preparing the soil, easing the seedlings from their plastic cases, untangling the roots and arranging them in the pots is calming and familiar.

It's an odd limbo not knowing what the next season or even month will bring. This day by day waiting game. I've given up on predicting the future. There have been times when I was so sure of a positive outcome and it never arrived, and other times when I'd all but given up and was handed a bounty. Each day I do what needs to be done – make phone calls, rattle cages, document, show up at court – without any expectation of a particular outcome.

In the end, I know what needs to happen. I will never lose sight of that. How it will happen, I don't know. But for now, I keep planting seeds of hope.

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16 comments:

  1. a good analogy for where you are at, K. Wouldn't it be great if it all turned out as pretty as that flower basket?! x

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  2. The uncertainty you're feeling at the moment must be so incredibly hard. I hope every day that everything work out as it should, I think it will. Keep the faith, the bounty will arrive.

    Your comment about petunias reminded me of this Wiggles song and now I have it my head. :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNuiJUrZoW8&feature=related

    Love ya lovely lady. xx

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  3. @ Maxabella - Hope springs eternal. :)

    @ Corinne - LOL. I think we really missed out by not having the Wiggles over here. My kids' preschool years are lacking. x

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  4. I kept gardening until nearly the very last day at my old house. I kept pruning and planting, following nature's rhythm. Knowing that the plants would still be there regardless of where I was and that the best I could do is prepare the garden for winter the best way I could.

    Right now I am culling our possessions, trying to minimise the stuff I'm going to have to move. That's all I can do. I don't know where I'm going or how I'm going to get there, but I know what needs to be done. Right now. Now is all we have...

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  5. I've always planted flowers etc whenever I've had the urge. I've lived in many homes and see no reason to make each one pretty just because I'm renting. I've left behind many, many nice gardens, where before there was nothing, and landlords love me because of it.

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  6. Planting seeds is a wonderful, cathartic, healing thing to do. It reminds us that new beginnings can happen anywhere and at any time if we work at them... and that we are all of us, all the time, growing.

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  7. Great attitude! One day and one step and one seed... You will definitely get there!
    Nice post!

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  8. What an analogy. It's a healing, self-nurturing thing to do, no matter where you are or where they end up. There's something magical about watching life, which you have put in the soil, sprout up. It cannot be underestimated.

    Hopeful for you. xxx

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  9. Keep planting. Something beautiful will eventually pop up xoxo

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  10. Beautifully written post. I say plant those seeds and take them with you where ever your life's journey takes you next!

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  11. Beautiful post. Keep planting those seeds, and watching them blossom. x

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  12. I have just been clicking around your blog to learn a little bit more about you after reading this hopeful post. I love your resolute belief in a positive outcome; one that is rooted in many little seeds of positivity in the present. I was a volunteer at a domestic violence shelter many years ago and painfully watched how close to the edge the victims are pushed when they are betrayed in this way. Your story is powerful. Thank you for giving it voice so that others may learn and find theirs.

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  13. Beautiful and fitting analogy here, K.

    I really do wish for a very positive, happy outcome for you and your kids.

    xxx

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  14. Hello! I am having ISSUES with blogger, my comments arent turning up anywhere and its so frustrating...
    I love this post, its amazing how the human spirit will simply find hope in the darkest of places.
    My best wishes for you K.

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  15. So strange thinking of you being on the other side of the world. I love having a garden, even if it's in pots. When we had our family home, the one I worked my arse off for, we had mulberry trees, mango, lemons, lime, peaches, loads of herbs, and more. Now I'm renting again and we have as many pots as we can of lettuce, herbs, and whatever the kids fancy growing. I so wish we were back in our old home, where the kids spent several happy months each year climbing trees and picking and eating fruit.
    Flowers are hard to do in Brisbane, unless you're a dedicated gardener (which I'm not) as you need to be constantly onto the weeding and feeding etc. But fruit and herbs I can do. Kind of!

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