Saturday, May 14, 2011

Soul mates


Have you ever met someone and felt an immediate bond with them? There is a sense of familiarity and an instant rapport? You want to grab them and say, “You, you...it's you!” Though you're not really sure who you is.

I've met a number of people like this throughout my life. I've noticed, however, that I tend to meet them more often when I'm living in alignment with my heart. These past two years, since I've woken up from my soul slumber and started embracing the things that are meaningful to me, completely changed my life trajectory really, these kindred spirits have been coming into my life in spades. 

I love it.

First there is Celeste. I work with Celeste. I first met her during a job interview (please remember that I'm the Director of Finance – insert image of me wearing my Staid and Important hat) when I blurted out: “You must have a lot of Virgo in your chart!” To which she replied enthusiastically in the affirmative. Fast friends, we became.

On the outside our lives are very different. On the inside, not so much. We carry similar wounds in similar places in our hearts and are on a journey of healing that has led us to knock up against those wounds around about the same time. There is something to be said for having a companion on such a journey. She is the most well-grounded and confident person I know. More than anyone else, she has helped me navigate the turmoil of this past year, by my side almost every day, lending her clarity and compassion.

Honestly, I don't know how I would have made it through everything without her.

Eden. Eden wrote me out of the blue one day after reading one of my posts and offered me a place to stay while I was in Sydney for the conference. Didn't know me from Adam. She said she felt like we were meant to connect and she really wanted to help me. Actually, she offered me several places to stay, generous soul that she is. I went to her blog and read one of her posts and knew immediately that I loved this woman, that we were kindred souls. 

God, what an amazing person. And so real. Look up real in the dictionary and there is Eden's picture.


Real


There is no pretense with Eden. No filters. No barriers. This is a woman who will walk into a room full of suits at Google headquarters and ask, “Who do I have to blow to get a mention on Blogs of Note?” And then a month later she will be mentioned on Blogs of Notes without even a hand job. She's that good.

And then there is Lori. I met Lori when our lives were so ordinary. And then I fell and she said, “I want to quell your pain, but you are so far away.” But what she didn't know was that I felt her right there. And then she fell, fell hard, and I felt the distance between us like a chasm and I felt a sharp grief that I hadn't even felt for myself. I saw her cry out and heave against the unfairness of her lot and breathe fire into her pain over and over and over until, like an alchemist, she held up a bar of pure gold.

And the whole world watched.

Eden, Lori and I. We know a secret. We know that when your worst fears come true and you lose everything, there is a moment after the long breathless fall, when you hit the ground with a thud, that you look around and realize you are still here. You get up, dust yourself off and here's the kicker. You realize you are not only still alive, but you have lost your fear of falling. And so you go out and do all the things you were afraid to do before.

You give the finger to the Westies and move to Paradise and draw hearts in the sand.


You walk into the cancer ward of a hospital, take their craptastic paintings off the wall and replace them with vibrant, beautiful works of art that make people smile. None of the staff question what you are doing because your light shines so damn bright you must have some kind of authority.

There are so many.

What of all the beautiful women who lifted me up off the floor where I was crouched in fear, who sought to bring me home to stay for a spell, so I could breathe a sigh of relief? And one especially who reached up and shifted the moon and the sun to make sure it would happen?

Where do they come from, these friends who appear when we need them? Who we've known for a week and also a hundred years?

And you. What about you? Who have you found?


42 comments:

  1. What an awesome post. What really amazes me is that so many people who inspire, support, laugh and cry with me, are people who I maybe did not expect to be so supportive. That is the magic of the bloggie/twitter world. You are one of the women who have inspired me, as well as those you have mentioned here. I love it when women work together for good, not evil.

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  2. @ Bronnie - Honey, you're right up there with the rest. You have been an amazing, amazing support. I'm honored to call you my friend. xo

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  3. Heart sisters. That's who you guys are to little old me. Thank you for being my heart sister, lovely one.xxx

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  4. I have met so many women in the past 8 months since I started blogging. Far out this blogging community has tossed all these women into the universe who shine like beacons in the night for me. You are one of them. Through your courage and the love and honesty of so many others I have been inspired to chase my heart. I feel like there's this amazing supportive network standing right beside me, as I am for them. Fucking breathtaking xx

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  5. @ Brenda - Queen heart sister for you, gorgeous. You are just incredible. Love you. xoxo

    @ Bigwords - Aw, I feel the same way. It is an amazing network, beautiful and supportive. Who knew? Thanks for all the love. x

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  6. I love this post! So beautifully written! The world is a better place when you share it with a soul sister. I second what Bronnie said - this world of blogging has brought so much to my life from people I never would have met otherwise.

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  7. @ Cajun - Amen! Isn't that the truth?

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  8. What a beautiful, soulful post, Kristin. Kindred spirits - I've met a few in the blogosphere as well.

    "Eden, Lori and I. We know a secret. We know that when your worst fears come true and you lose everything, there is a moment after the long breathless fall, when you hit the ground with a thud, that you look around and realize you are still here. You get up, dust yourself off and here's the kicker. You realize you are not only still alive, but you have lost your fear of falling. And so you go out and do all the things you were afraid to do before." took my breath away.

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  9. What a beautiful, beautiful post.

    Have no words, just love for the blessing of soul mates <3

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  10. That was so beautifully written.
    Kindness and humanity. It still exists and yet sometimes when you are so down it can be a gorgeous surprise.

    It is the BEST feeling to know that someone understands. They get it.
    Sometimes that all you need.

    Love that feeling of soul mates. Of knowing those hands are there to hold when you need em.

    Such a gorgeous post. Love it. x

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  11. I always find it interesting what posts I can read and feel a connection to, an empathy for, and shed a tear.
    And then there's ones like this, that talk of such positive experiences coming from a world of pain and darkness and I am overwhelmed with such joy that I cry more than I ever did for the sad posts.
    Thanks, Kristin, you've made my day (even though my husband is wondering why I'm bawling my eyes out and grinning at the same time) xx

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  12. Oh. Just.. oh. I love you, you know that? You do. You and I, isn't it funny how things correlated the way they did? the universe knew we would need each other xoxox

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  13. I totally knew Eden would be on this list. I had the exact same impression when I met her. She's rad.

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  14. So beautifully written. Such beautifully strong brave women. The universe has a magical way of delivering u xxxxs the people we need just when we need them.

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  15. I know you
    You know me
    and my door is always yours xx

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  16. What gorgeous words you write Wanderlust. Makes a person smile :-) xx

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  17. You always seem to write what's in my heart. I don't know what that makes you - a twin soul?

    Not too many of those in real life. It is so hard to trust anyone, to show anyone what's really inside. I feel like an alien most of the time. Connecting online is easier...

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  18. I have goosebumps. Or duckpimples. Or something.

    It's true. Connections that are already destined. Through this explosion of blogs.

    xx

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  19. Lucky everyone else commented first so I wont look like an idiot for crying.
    You're an amazing woman, the shit you've been dealt and how you've risen above it has inspired me times a million. You inspired me to tell my story, and to not be ashamed of where Ive come from.
    I hope that one day you will move to Australia, because I will travel to where you are and give you a big fat hug.
    x

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  20. Oh my GOD in the heaven above us.

    You can turn a word on its head, Kristin. Yes. You. Can. You are one of the best, purest writers I am reading on the internet today, hands down.

    I'm fucking honoured to receive such lovely words - and something I never actually told you properly, was that I dropped the ball when you were here. If I had my shit more together - well, I just would have been more together. (Wow - deep, huh?) Thank you for being able see past that.

    I wonder how you are, over there - often. I love your unwrapped pottery, claiming a place in your home again.

    Thank you for seeing my Heartlight shining brightly, at the moment. For you to see it, must mean that your light is matching.

    Love love love to you and your two beautiful wee souls.

    XOXOXOXOXO

    PS Like, you can REALLY write.

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  21. What a beautiful post. Exactly how I feel about my bestie who changed my whole life in one day. I will share this with her for sure. Thankyou x

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  22. I drop by often but lurk mainly...much in the way that I shyly smiled at you at "your" drinks. I think this "community" an amazing thing and like Bianca says, I've encountered some truly wondrous women who've supported me through my tears in ways few in real life have come through for me. You're totally right about the falling part - I lived it with my Mum (one day I will blog about that) and all totally sucked & fear slipped away - when you've lost so much it seems daft to fear anything. An amazing post, thank you! x

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  23. Whether you realize it or not, you are truly one of the bravest souls I've ever known. I know this place brings comfort and light to those who have none, and camaraderie to those in their own isolation.

    You are fucking beautiful, and you know I love you.

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  24. Lots of food for thought in this post over my break at work. Such wonderful connections - makes me so happy for you. And I'll be adding a few blogs to my reader's list now, thank you very much. :)

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  25. Soul mates come in many forms. I am fortunate to have three people in my life, but the connections are each different - one eternal, one of ancient yet young at the same time, one that of the trusted and loved friend. They are my core.

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  26. Gorgeous, beautiful post, hon. x

    There *is* something about the energy of this time, too, don't you think? At the risk of sounding very woo woo, we all seem to be vibrating to some cosmic tuning fork, which resonates on a level that connects us with the people we most need in our lives right now.

    So glad you've found the people you needed. xx

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  28. Wow - LOVE IT! And you. Can I steal this about Eden and pretend you wrote it about me?!?!?

    'This is a woman who will walk into a room full of suits at Google headquarters and ask, “Who do I have to blow to get a mention on Blogs of Note?” And then a month later she will be mentioned on Blogs of Notes without even a hand job. She's that good.'

    I may be awesome and all, but that's a very, very special gift!

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  29. Alchemy. I adore the word. The premise. I often think of those who are spinning their own wailings into gold, just not online. They are everywhere. They must be.

    We feel kindred because we are. I feel so incredibly blessed to have a computer and an internet connection and an established blog. This mere portal makes me so humbly grateful that I can reach out and find you. And her and her and her (and so many "hers") out there.

    I may not post often. But I carry you in my everyday walking life always. I truly do. I cherish our connection. I know you have it with others. But not ours. You are a true gem, one out of the box. But then... aren't we all? xoxoxoxoxox

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  30. @ Being Me - You and I... we may be half a world apart but we see the same moon. I can talk with you on a level I can talk with very few others, and it's such an honor to share a moment with you, whether trading emails online or a stolen moment away from the conference. I'm sure we have many more such moments together in our future. xx

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  31. @ Ruddygood - that's an interesting thought, about this being a time of kindred souls finding each other. I like your cosmic tuning fork theory! x

    @ Misfit Mommy - I think I'm falling in love with you too! You leave the most amazingly gorgeous comments. x

    @ Cat - I remember you from the conference (oh shy one :) and I'm glad you introduced yourself. I saw your post today and perhaps have an inkling of your story. I think we all have a painful chapter or two in our history and as difficult as they are to navigate, the silver lining is that they do come with their gifts. I'm not sure I would be the person I am today if I'd taken the path down Sunshine St.

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  32. @ Eden - huge hugs, babe. Stop apologizing for March. I get it. You're amazing. xo

    @ Kellie - I would be so honored to meet you, love! xx

    @ Dorothy - sometimes I just shake my head at the parallels. It's comforting, isn't it? But you're right... how many others?

    @ Woog - Watch it. You never know when I'll come walking through that door!

    @ Glowless - nawww... now you're going to make me cry! xo

    @ Kell - you're so right, a wonderful feeling. And in the end (and middle and beginning) it's all that really matters - love.

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  33. OMG
    "breathe fire into her pain over and over and over until, like an alchemist, she held up a bar of pure gold."
    That comment makes me shiver all over. Man, you can write.

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  34. We are all of us an angel to somebody...

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  35. I definitely believe that we meet people for a reason, that we bump into people who can help us with something. I met a few people just before my mum got diagnosed through very random events who have become my rock through spookily similar shared experience. So glad you have such awesome ladies looking out for you. I'm cheering you on K

    M2mx

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  36. You never know where you're going to find someone special :)

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  37. Oh, you said it, woman. You said it. I could have written this post (only probably less eloquently) over and over again in the last two and a half years. You're so right, too, about needing to be in alignment within yourself before you can align with others. BIG hugs to you and to all your soulmates. And I'm offering up a prayer of thankfulness for mine.

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  38. " I've noticed, however, that I tend to meet them more often when I'm living in alignment with my heart." Whoa!

    Sometimes I even re-meet them after a long absence. Sometimes they find me out of the blue and write poetry beyond all belief to a complete stranger.
    Sometimes they are at a networking event.
    Sometimes they are writing, and you are reading, and then you are writing and they are reading.

    So many, so often now. This is good!

    Thank you for highlighting something I really should have known all along.

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  39. Oh gee, here I am like the old carnival (as the saying goes in Switzerland), but I don't care. This post drove tears to my eyes and I don't care that I'm a year late commenting.

    Beautiful words and so true. It blows my mind when someone manages to put thoughts into words in a way that makes them real and drives them straight to my soul.

    Thank you.

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    1. Thank you for your beautiful comment! x

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  40. Ditto binjabber... I may be a year late but I'm glad I found it.
    I've always thought how inexplicably beautiful it is when you meet someone and just connect, immediately. We meet thousands of people every year, but of all those, one, sometimes without even saying much, just feels comfortable and right.
    I'm not a religious person/superstitious or anything, but it almost makes me believe in previous lives - as if perhaps we gel so well because we were friends in a past lives!
    So special to be aware of it when it happens.

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