Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I wonder what would happen if I took this and put it...

My son. He is six years old. All boy, all the time, a ball of unruly energy, until suddenly he's not. One minute he's hurling headless Barbie dolls over the upstairs railing and the next, he's bringing me a plate of peeled carrots in bed "to make your head feel better." He's a bit sly, full-on, unrelenting, sensitive, thoughtful, mischevious, adorable, exhausting. I love him to bits.

Lately, he's had a hard time going to bed. I tuck him in, but it never takes. Before I know it he's making an appearance at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mama, I had a bad dream."

"Dan, you've only been in bed for 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure you haven't fallen asleep yet. Now go on back to bed."

15 minutes later...

"Mama, I'm not sleepy and the only thing that makes me really really really really googolplex tired is you reading me a bedtime story."

Last night he came downstairs and told me his ear hurt. He said it itched and when he put his finger inside to scratch it, it began hurting, and that it felt like something hard was in there, like a button.  I asked him if he had put anything in his ear and he said no. I got a flashlight and looked in both ears but they looked fine. He seemed genuinely uncomfortable. He said his tummy hurt too. So I called a late-night RN line and explained the situation.

She asked if he would have put anything in his ear. I told her he had already said no. Are you sure he's telling you the truth, she asked? Yes, I answered with confidence. She suggested it might be an ear infection and that I should give him some ibuprofen and take him to the doctor if it wasn't better in the morning.

As I gave him the medication, I got down on his level and told him that if he had put anything in his ear, it was really important to tell Mommy. That I wasn't mad and he wouldn't be in trouble, but that the nurse and I needed to know so we could best take care of him. Again, he just shook his head and said he never put anything near his ear.  He seemed so miserable that I let him sleep next to me in bed, so I could keep an eye on him.

When he awoke the next morning he was a bit congested and still in pain, so I thought it must be an ear infection. I kept him home and took him to the doctor. She put him up on the exam table and took a look in each ear. "Well, what do we have here?" she asked. She grabbed a pair of tweezers and expertly pulled an object out of his left ear. She showed it to me. It was a little purple button.

I looked at Dan, who had a sheepish look on his face. I couldn't help myself, I burst into a fit of giggles. I know I should have been mad at him. For lying, for leading us on a wild goose chase, for causing me to miss a day of work.  But I couldn't stop laughing. Teaching moment: lost.

"Dan," I asked, "how do you think that button got in your ear?"

He thought about it a bit. "It must have rolled in there when I was asleep."

Yes. I'm sure that's exactly what happened.


  1. Oh I loves it! Thanks for the giggle! :)

  2. Mothers of boys deserve a medal. Or a holiday at a 5 star tropical resort. Or both.

  3. My son used to put peas up his nose, my grand-daughter used to pull the fluffy bits off her toys and stick them up her nose - but not her ears.

    I think I would have giggled too.

  4. LOL! I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from laughing as well!

  5. Gosh you guys are good, i would've been cross....


  6. Happens to me all the time. Most of the time though it is chocolate biscuits rolling themselves into my mouth. Lord knows how they get up the stairs...

  7. The ONE AND ONLY time my two year old did what her older brother said, she stuffed bread up her nose. Luckily she sneezed it out almost immediately. Then said "I nebber liss to you again".
    When I asked him (4) why he told her to do it he said because she was there....

  8. Little boys! My son once sniffed a sultana up his nose at kindy. The teacher tried to get him to blow it out. Instead he sniffed harder.
    I had to take him to GP who couldn't get it out, and sent us to hospital ER where dude armed with the scariest, longest tweezers you've ever seen tried to pluck it out. He was moments from surgery when doctor suggested I put my mouth over son's mouth and blow really hard. It was gross but I did it, but then son sneezed and the offending sultana popped out.
    Son is still known as 'sultana boy' at our GP surgery!

  9. Feels like a button in my ear...

    Oh really?? Lol. Too hilarious. Of course he didn't know it was there. The things young children stick into any and every orifice....will never cease to amaze me (or make me laugh)

    * Perpetually Me *

  10. Oh great, the things I have to look forward to!
    *hides every button in the house*


  11. ps. Is it just me or is it totally unfair that once we get past the choke-risk stage, we have to worry about the putting-things-in-ears stage?
    Oy vey.

  12. better than finding an M&M up his nose I guess.. :-)

  13. Ah silly little guy!! That would explain why he felt like he had a button in his ear . . . he did. :)

  14. that made me giggle.

    When my daughter was about four she swallowed a marble one second it was in her hand the next gone.

  15. The other day I found my five year old son with a coin in his mouth. Still in his mouth, thank God!

    Last night he managed to rip out his 8 year old's brother loose tooth out by playing tug of war with his pyjama bottoms.

    Oh, he also comes out of his room two minutes after being put to bed to tell me he can't sleep. Or he needs a cuddle. Or he had a bad dream. Yeah, little boys....

  16. So funny! I'm so glad you also have a boy's boy. Mine is only 3, so we have many more adventures to come.

  17. When I was four I found a penny on my brother's nightstand and put it in my mouth. I swallowed it and it lodged in my throat. I had to go to the hospital to have it removed and it involved an overnight stay. I'm sure my parents were thrilled.

    Steve, cookies rolling into your mouth. Now why didn't I think of that?

  18. Oh my gosh, that is just way too funny! I love his explanation, "it must have rolled in there when I was asleep." Priceless! :)

  19. I love his explanation and googolplex!

  20. I'm always suspicious if they're specific - "it feels like a button"! I totally would have been checking all my shirts for absent buttons haha. I'm more terrified of kids putting things up their nose... I've heard its disgusting.

  21. It's amazing how inanimate objects suddenly take on lives of their own when kids are involved isn't it?!

  22. Oh you have to love the sticking things in ears!

    Out of five kids I've been lucky enough to only have one stick a seed in his ear, and another stick a purple bead up his nose. The bead one was freaky cause I knew where that would end up if he sniffed which was what he wanted to do.

    I dare say you'll find yourself checking his ears all the time for awhile lol I know I checked ears & noses for a long time after, and kept reminding them some things are best left OUT of your body holes! lol


  23. Oh, that is just hilarious. I think I would have had an attack of the giggles too! :)

  24. Way too funny!!! And I might have to pinch googolplex tired....that's just awesome.

    My kids haven't put anything up their noses...yet. But my brother swallowed a marble, and my sister swallowed a one cent coin. They both farted them out, clean as a whistle. You can imagine how thrilled my mum was!!

  25. Oh now that is a classic story to be recounted at his 21st! And I am sure that same day awaits me and my full on little boy...

  26. My niece had sinus and stuffed tissues up her nose to stop the drips, unbeknownst to her parents. Needless to say, a few days later she had to visit the doctor for a sore nose. My brother said it was like one of those magician tricks with the scarves. The doctor just kept pulling and pulling and they kept coming and coming. Oh, the joy!

  27. All these stories are priceless. How is it that kids survive childhood intact? :)

  28. My eight year old Savannah put a bead up her nose and earned a trip to the E.R. at about the same age. We asked her why she did it and with impish eyes she looked at me and said "Because it fit!"

    It's posts like this that keep me coming back! I recently won an award and I'm passing it on to you. To accept The Versatile Blogger award visit

  29. My brother once swallowed a 2c piece (way back when they were still in circulation) when he was 2 or 3. I ran to tell mum, who wanted to take him to the hospital upon hearing about it, but then he vomited all over the carpet, coin and all...


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