Thursday, October 11, 2012

Things I found in my bra this week

I am the world’s most prolific writer. In my head. It’s just that all those posts don’t always make it out of my head and onto paper because, well, you know. That requires more than daydreaming.

I was over at the beautiful Mojito Mother’s site the other day reading about how she’s implementing a new schedule for her blog and launching several new series. Awesome, thought I, me too! I have a number of new series I want to launch here on Wanderlust. In my head.

But Mojito’s blog mojo gave me the push I needed to sit down and actually flesh out all these thoughts. Since these posts will be part of a recurring series, I wanted to make sure that each of the projects reflected the same level of professionalism, candor and thoughtful inquiry you’re used to finding on Wanderlust.

Here is the first one I came up with:





Seriously. I am constantly sweeping bits of stuff out of my bra. It's become a part-time job. Cleavage is the perfect receptacle for all manner of dropped things.

Just this past week, I have found all of the following in my bra:
  • Toast crumbs
  • A popcorn kernel
  • Fried rice
  • An earring
  • A liquid eyeliner applicator
  • An email I apparently sent volunteering to be this year’s room parent
  • A kitten (missing since the previous night)
  • Mitt Romney’s tax returns


I may need to increase my cup size if this trend continues. I wonder if Victoria's Secret makes a bra with a trap door at the bottom?

I'm still formulating ideas for another new regular series I'll be launching in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.

What about you? What have you found in your bra this week?



P.S. Things I would like to find in my bra next week: 
  • My missing cell phone charger
  • M&M’s
  • Colin Firth




35 comments:

  1. Funniest thing I have read this afternoon!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a giggle....here I was answering in my head that you could just go buy a maternity bra at least you could empty it by pulling down the flap.... and then I read the bit about Colin Firth and immediately got sidetracked!!

    You forgot the kitty litter by the way!

    My bra usually collects crumbs and wayward wine drips.... the occasional bit of dinner when I miss my mouth ... it also collects the odd eye or two when I bend slightly forward... male eye that is!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the kitty litter. I'm sure there will be more next week. The kitten still sleeps on my chest.

      I don't think I ever realized how much food never reaches my mouth until I began wearing bras. Sad.

      Delete
  3. I haven't found anything interesting in mine. Boobs don't count, I've had them for ages and the novelty wore off a long time ago.

    I did, however, get a serious case of ants-in-pants while gardening on the weekend, and the little buggers were BITING! I had to drop my dacks on the spot.
    My husband was mowing and looked up to see me apparently doing a strip-tease, all for his benefit, of course.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch!! You must live in a more rural area than me. I'm pretty sure I would get in trouble with the neighborhood association if I did that.

      Delete
  4. Oh! How the heck does so much popcorn end up in there?! Wait, you mean unpopped corn.... well, that certainly is more curious. But not outside the realms of possibility.

    Bobby pins. That is what I find sometimes, sitting down at the bottom of my bra. How?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think popcorn is magnetically attracted to bras.

      Delete
  5. This must be why my floor is so filthy - my flat chest!!
    :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I almost spit out my coffee when I read this! x

      Delete
  6. The closest thing to a trap door Victoria's secret have is the bras that you can add or subtract what I call the chicken fillets.

    You might need a nursing bra, but speaking from experience I find all manner of things in there.

    I woke up and found my husband there this morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, a nursing bra might be helpful for dislodging lost items. It would also provide multiple access points for your husband.

      Delete
  7. Very funny and so true!! Don't forget lego men ... and their accessories ... teeny guns, swords, helmets, hairpieces (what is it with the lego hair toupee?). I don't even bat an eye anymore - just retrieve and empty! Hx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, Heidi, my entire house is full of little detached Lego pieces. There are probably some in my bra and I just haven't found them yet.

      Delete
  8. A tiny type of fly - alive! Ewww.
    Some years ago: a bee. The little bugger indeed stung me right there. Not funny, and seriously ouch, which is far worse than eww.
    Needles to say I prefer flies in my bra over bees.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ouch! Maybe you need to tuck a bottle of bug repellent in there?

      Delete
  9. Thanks for the giggle!
    Hmm... what did I find in my bra this week? Well, sadly, not much. In fact, there's hardly even any breast left in there :(

    ReplyDelete
  10. I had to "de-lurk" to say I had mac&cheese in mine once. Got some weird looks as I fished it out at the (restaurant) table! (It was still HOT!) I missed my mouth. Anytime my husband & I go to the movies I always either get popcorn or pretzel salt down there. That is why I stopped wearing low-cut shirts to the movies!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, the movies, right? I think we need a bra with a flip-out tray that we can put up at the movies.

      Delete
  11. I don't have a bra. I may need to take a look in someone else's and see what I find.

    I'll hold you responsible for any trouble that ensues.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is why I like sports bras. =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, true. And I don't know about you, but I rarely eat popcorn while I'm running.

      Delete
  13. Well in my Bra I found very little but in my knickers I found a very old, wrinkly and disused willy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe you need to keep more chocolate in your bra. Just saying...

      Delete
  14. Keep looking - I'm fairly sure I'm in there somewhere...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, I knew I needed a larger cup size.

      Delete
  15. I'm always finding things in my bra, usually of the food variety. Someday I'd like to find extra room in my bra, which is another way of saying weight loss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah, yes, I wouldn't mind that either! More room in there for popcorn that way, too.

      Delete
  16. Hilarious!
    As Craig likes to tell me, since I had children there is no longer anything in my bra!
    I know he'd definitely like to find my boobs back to the size they once were!!

    For me, I'll take a hundred dollar note.
    Thanks for the shout out!

    ReplyDelete
  17. LMAO Oh you made me laugh on this really crappy weekemd - thank you thank you thank you. I would love to find my teenage boobs in my bra, you know the perky ones that sit where they are supposed too. xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I love you. But you can keep Colin Firth. I'd suggest Michael Fassbender but I would hate him to suffocate and die.

    Well, not till I was done with him, anyhoo.

    Food. All the food. That's what I actually find in my bra. What's Michael's fave food? Maybe I could entice him in there...

    X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for not making me share Colin. In turn, I give you free access to Michael (despite his unquestionable hotness). I hear he likes gummy bears (extra sour). You're welcome.

      Delete

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