Tuesday, October 23, 2012

This is why I will never be a fashion blogger

My mom was a fabulously gorgeous and stylish woman. In the 60's she rocked the Jackie O look. When she was in her early 20's she met and married my father, an older, quite bookish engineer. He was...not so stylish. He rocked the pocket protector look.

Today I was reading a post on Woogsworld about prom dress disasters and she invited readers to dish about their own formal gowns. I immediately started telling her about the flowing, floor-length light blue gown I wore to my senior ball. My date had inquired about the color of my dress so he could be sure to match.

As I was typing, I recalled how when my date and I waltzed into the fancy hotel, a beguiling duo in light blue, we were immediately met by a sea of black. Everywhere. Everyone.

Black tuxes and short, strapless black gowns. He looked at me, mortified. "Why didn't you tell me to wear black?" he whispered.

"Well..." I stalled, "I didn't get the memo?"

Just in case you need visual proof, here it is. This is a scanned photo of the damaged original print, which (barely) survived the great basement flood of 1989.



Rob, I'm so sorry


The missing memo aside, I could have picked up any current fashion magazine, or perhaps walked into my local department store, and been apprised of the latest and greatest trends. But I hadn't. It was just something I never gave a thought to. The whole fashion thing.

You see, despite the stunning example set by my mother, I inherited my father's style genes.

Not much has changed to this day.

Need more proof?

Three years earlier (year 9), another senior ball.
I'm sorry, Craig. But do you like my hair?



Remember those sweaters made to look
like quilt blocks sewn together? Yep.





Early 80's (with dad, brother, aunt, mom and carnation lapel pin)



Middle school, perhaps. I call this look 'formal milkmaid'.




Why are you hiding, Rich? Suck it up. You're
going to be in pictures with me for years to come



Thanks for the writing gene Mom, but could 
you maybe have thrown in a wee bit of style?



Nope. Clearly I belong to the guy with the pocket protector.


It's quite possible the only time I was stylish was when Nikki dressed me.

What about you? Should you be allowed to dress yourself?







38 comments:

  1. I love the formal milkmaid look the best. I hear ya- if it wasn't for my mother inlaq's care packages from Express id still be wearing ten year old jeans, converse runners and am older t-shirt. I now wear new jeans. Newer tees, the same old shoes... Hmm what was my point? Oh yeah... I hear ya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeans, t-shirts and sandals for me. And yeah, many of them are around ten years old...

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  2. Love Love Love.
    From a completely un-stylish non-glamourous Nikki-inspired never-will-be-a-fashion-blogger.
    Kathryn xx

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  3. Chuckle.... (embarrassing because I know my photo's are hiding somewhere and I don't want to find them!) Now in your defense I bet you And Rob looked gorgeous and were possible trend setters since everyone else were followers and conformers! He may not thank you but at least he stood out to all the girls :)) I was cringing towards the end thinking oh no I hope this doesn't mean we have to put these sort of shots on facebook. It is bad enough I have old school mates putting on school photos without my permission! You are so brave!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh we were absolutely trend setters. Do you not remember the powder blue tux revolution of the 80's? That was us.

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  4. You still look gorgeous in those pics, Kristen. Who can help fashion huh? If you lived in the 80s, a mishap was practically unavoidable.

    I have some awful photos of me, looking awful. I have never showed them to ANYONE. It's not just the fashion but the eyebrows, the hair, all of it. I never did seem to be able to get it right. Unfortunately, I am not courageous enough to post them for the enjoyment of others.

    I think I look okay now but I really had to learn even the basics. I just had no idea. Heh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "If you lived in the 80s, a mishap was practically unavoidable." SO true! Sadly, I wore the high-waisted jeans long after they fell out of (questionable) style. You will thank me for sparing you the spiral perm pictures. That was truly something else.

      xoxo

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    2. Oh, honey. I just read your 'lonely is the house with a cat-shaped hole' post. ***sob*** :(

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  5. The milkmaid wins, hands down. I actually think you look really pretty in your formal dress. ;) However - I can see how ice blue sticks out a little amongst all of the black.

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    Replies
    1. That's a popular look tonight (milkmaid). I think I may just have to bring it back. You know, I rather liked the blue dress too. I was never one for the cocktail look.

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  6. I love the photos - especially the sweater - I'm sure I had something similar with added pom poms x

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    Replies
    1. Beautiful. I also had one with a giant Christmas wreath (with three-dimensional embellishment). Yes.

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  7. Simply lovely Wanderlust. Now I am off to watch Sister Wives xx

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    Replies
    1. I don't know what that show is, and I'm a little afraid to find out. x

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  8. Obsessed by the milkmaid look. You rocked it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The flat sandals with pantyhose were a nice touch, don't you think?

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  9. I would pay good money for Craig's suit. Awesome! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! That suit! And the bowtie, too. Woof.

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  10. Formal milkmaid was such an under-rated trend. You crack me up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feel free to steal it anytime, Nikki. With the right accessories...I'm telling you - wowza. xo

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  11. Still unaware that there are more than three pairs of shoes in any given closet at fifty-five, I will never get it. I have just given up and realize that I will always look like someone's displaced aunt from the sticks !~!

    and I'm ok with that. In the early 80's while visiting an old junior high chum, she remarked that my laundry looked just like her husband's. We're still chuckling over that one thirty years later. and not much has changed except the wool shirts are now fleece and weigh a lot less.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes! High five! You know I was looking at the one picture where I'm in the desert, taken 18 years ago, and realized I STILL have that same pair of boots. Still wear them (even through they are falling apart).

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  12. Hey. I would have been damned proud to escort you to a prom!

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  13. OMFG at the milkmaid shot.... *snort*
    Fashion gold.

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  14. I'm loving your formal milkmaid! And the forest background is so enchanting too. I think you can be forgiven for your faux-pas, we were all blind in the 80's. I didn't develop a style gene until much later in life... As for you - look at your header pic - you are a rockin' that style thing! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the enchanted forest. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. x

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  15. You can never have these problem when you wear only T shirts and jeans - but I admit it's easier for boys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, you guys get off pretty easy. You only ever really have a few choices to make.

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  16. Love those photos. You sure had a thing for blue :-)

    I'm getting better at dressing myself, but it took me a while to make the transition from corporate suit wearing career woman, to just me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I can actually dress myself these days and look decent. At least, that's what I think now. In 20 years I may look at the pictures and cringe.

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  17. In your defence, you wore "formal milkmaid" like a boss!!

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  18. OMG, I thought you were doing well - you pick lousy dates but otherwise a child of the times - then came the milkmaid. You probably owe me a new laptop now I've spat wine all over it! Although again, your date is way worse than you!

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  19. I'm lovin' your blog! But hey, you can make your momma proud with a little bit of fashion. xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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