Friday, October 26, 2012

Tracy

I'm writing tonight to ask for your prayers for Tracy, a friend to me and to many, many others in the Australian blogging community. She is very ill.

For all the hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, the blogging world can feel quite small and intimate at times. Connections are made, intimacies shared and friendships formed between people who may live half a world apart.

I 'met' Tracy not long after I started blogging, around three years ago. At the time, she had a blog called Ruddygood and we would often read and comment on each other's posts. We were about the same age, we had sons about the same age. She was a single mom and I was about to become one.

In August of 2010, in the days following my assault when I was still raw and in shock, I felt like I needed to express what I was going through. At the time, I was afraid to write about it here on my own site, so a friend allowed me to post on her blog. I was in a bad place: frightened, stunned, confused.

A lot of people left really beautiful comments on that post, and Tracy was one of them (she left more than one comment, actually). In the weeks and months that followed, when bad turned to worse and yet again worse, I would often go back to that post and read the comments, trying to ground myself in the beauty and concern expressed therein. And of all of them, it was in Tracy's words that I would find the most comfort. Even though I've never met her, she is so undeniably calm and wise and deeply compassionate. When I read her words, it was as if a bit of that energy wore off on me, and I would relax and ease back towards my center.

Tracy, you see, had been through a similar darkness and come out the other side. She stood there on that other side, like a beacon in the night, and she gave me hope.

The following year, Tracy met Mal. Her soulmate. Their's is a beautiful love story, but it's not mine to tell. I'll just say that her joy was palpable. They started a business together, and set up a life together.

Last month, Tracy announced that she had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer called leiomyosarcoma. I think there was a collective intake of breath throughout the blogosphere. We were all a bit in shock. She underwent surgery, and also embarked on a holistic healing journey.

Last night, her partner shared that the tumor had returned and that she was back in hospital preparing to undergo radiation treatment. She is currently under palliative care. She is very, very sick.

Even if you don't know Tracy, I'm asking that tonight you take a moment to hold her in your thoughts and send her love.

If you do know Tracy, you can contribute to a project that Allison Tait from Life in a Pink Fibro is putting together. She is gathering together photos, quotes, anecdotes, or whatever you'd like to contribute and she will compile them into a little book for Tracy called, appropriately, Things They Didn't Tell You About Tracy. If you'd like to contribute, email Allison at taitallison7 (at) gmail (dot) com by noon on Monday (and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that's Monday in Australia).

If you'd like to send a card directly to Tracy, you can do so at this address:

Tracy Rudd
Ward C8
Lismore Base Hospital
Uralba Street
Lismore 
NSW 2480

And Tracy, if you should happen to see this, I want you to know that I'm wishing for you the best possible outcome. I'm grateful for your beauty and kind wisdom. I'm grateful for the hand you held out to me in the darkness. You are an amazing soul.






30 comments:

  1. Your beautiful words for your friend have made my eyes swell with tears.
    You have an amazing soul and I have always felt your warmth when I come here to visit.
    I always go away feeling better for being here.
    I will say a special prayer for Tracy and hold her in my thoughts with much love..xx

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  2. In tears. Fuck life is cruel. It was the little community that gave me a whole new outlook on everything in my life and Tracy was there from the start. Her and Mal are the most adorable people ever to meet.

    Thanks for this K. I miss you and miss the beginnings. I don't want to see ends.

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    Replies
    1. It sounds so trite to say, 'life is not fair', because of course, life is not fair. But still...

      And I agree. I miss the beginnings and that feeling of community.

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  3. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. This stuff is hard. Thinking of her and by extension, all those she loves and is loved by.

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  4. In moments like these words fail me... Tracy and her loved ones are in my thoughts. And so are you.

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  5. I don't know Tracy, but I'm sorry to hear of her illness. How horrible. I'm so sorry to hear about Palliative Care.

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  6. A fellow blogger who also does not know Tracy.
    I am so sorry to hear of her illness.
    Sending love and thoughts to her & her family & friends at this sad time.

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  7. Is this address good for out of country mail? Thank you for sharing about Tracy...she will have more positive and loving thoughts, prayers, and vibes sent her way because of it.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Linz, it is. I'm sending a card too.

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  8. What terrible news. I have seen Tracy's avi around, though missed out on following her story and have every faith in the power of positive thought and prayer. May she be comfortable and her loved ones be surrounded by support and care. Such a very sad thing.

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    Replies
    1. Tracy is the poster child for positive thought. She is a gorgeous, generous soul. I'm wishing for a miracle for her.

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  9. Adding my prayers and healing wishes to everyone else's. I've yet to bump into Tracy in the blogosphere, she sounds like a wonderful woman, and your words are a gorgeous tribute to your friendship K. Hugs for you and Tracy's other friends as well. xxx

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  10. Very best wishes to you and of course your friend, Tracy. Just spent the afternoon with a friend of mine, a survivor, so thinking of you all the more tonight. Best wishes X

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  12. Crying .... I had no idea about this until a few days ago.

    Thanks for this post, Kristin. I will write something for the eBook. I don't know what - but I'm determined to make her smile. Man life is so cruel sometimes. XX

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  13. Just terrible. I find myself wondering why bad things happen.

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  14. I've known Tracy online for a long time and she is such an amazing woman.Tracy is a fighter and she is still giving it her all , with Mal by her side. I'm praying for a miracle too and the radiation blasts the tumour out and gives her body the chance to heal.
    Beautiful post Kristen and that quote By Hafiz you have on the right I love it

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    1. Trish, she really is. Such a strong, beautiful spirit. I was diagnosed with a myosarcoma when I was pregnant with my son. It was smaller and in a different part of the body, and was successfully treated. I believe healing is always possible. I'm a tragic optimist.

      I love that quote, too. One of my very favorites.

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  15. OMG-I have followed Tracy on Twitter. I had no idea. Sending all the love and strength I can. xox

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    1. Hi Jayne, I'm sorry you had to read it here (though it's probably not any less shocking to hear it from Tracy, herself). Very sad, indeed.

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  16. I'm so sorry to hear this horrible horrible news - cancer is just so tragically unfair. Sending much love, comfort and strength to Tracy, her partner,family and friends. A xxx

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  17. I had no idea about this news til right now. I don't know Tracy but know of her in the sphere. Such sad and tragic news. Your words are beautiful to read - such warmth from your heart. Sending my love to Tracy and her family. xx

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