Tracy

I'm writing tonight to ask for your prayers for Tracy, a friend to me and to many, many others in the Australian blogging community. She is very ill.

For all the hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, the blogging world can feel quite small and intimate at times. Connections are made, intimacies shared and friendships formed between people who may live half a world apart.

I 'met' Tracy not long after I started blogging, around three years ago. At the time, she had a blog called Ruddygood and we would often read and comment on each other's posts. We were about the same age, we had sons about the same age. She was a single mom and I was about to become one.

In August of 2010, in the days following my assault when I was still raw and in shock, I felt like I needed to express what I was going through. At the time, I was afraid to write about it here on my own site, so a friend allowed me to post on her blog. I was in a bad place: frightened, stunned, confused.

A lot of people left really beautiful comments on that post, and Tracy was one of them (she left more than one comment, actually). In the weeks and months that followed, when bad turned to worse and yet again worse, I would often go back to that post and read the comments, trying to ground myself in the beauty and concern expressed therein. And of all of them, it was in Tracy's words that I would find the most comfort. Even though I've never met her, she is so undeniably calm and wise and deeply compassionate. When I read her words, it was as if a bit of that energy wore off on me, and I would relax and ease back towards my center.

Tracy, you see, had been through a similar darkness and come out the other side. She stood there on that other side, like a beacon in the night, and she gave me hope.

The following year, Tracy met Mal. Her soulmate. Their's is a beautiful love story, but it's not mine to tell. I'll just say that her joy was palpable. They started a business together, and set up a life together.

Last month, Tracy announced that she had been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer called leiomyosarcoma. I think there was a collective intake of breath throughout the blogosphere. We were all a bit in shock. She underwent surgery, and also embarked on a holistic healing journey.

Last night, her partner shared that the tumor had returned and that she was back in hospital preparing to undergo radiation treatment. She is currently under palliative care. She is very, very sick.

Even if you don't know Tracy, I'm asking that tonight you take a moment to hold her in your thoughts and send her love.

If you do know Tracy, you can contribute to a project that Allison Tait from Life in a Pink Fibro is putting together. She is gathering together photos, quotes, anecdotes, or whatever you'd like to contribute and she will compile them into a little book for Tracy called, appropriately, Things They Didn't Tell You About Tracy. If you'd like to contribute, email Allison at taitallison7 (at) gmail (dot) com by noon on Monday (and I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that's Monday in Australia).

If you'd like to send a card directly to Tracy, you can do so at this address:

Tracy Rudd
Ward C8
Lismore Base Hospital
Uralba Street
Lismore 
NSW 2480

And Tracy, if you should happen to see this, I want you to know that I'm wishing for you the best possible outcome. I'm grateful for your beauty and kind wisdom. I'm grateful for the hand you held out to me in the darkness. You are an amazing soul.