So, deep breaths.
The next post you see here will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Wishing each of you peace and love and endless joy this holiday season.
I will leave you with this, which may be my favorite video ever.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Short break
Hey all, this is just a quick post to let you know I'm going to be taking a short break from posting. There's quite a bit going on in my world over the next eight weeks. When I return, I'll be able to report on a couple of new projects I've undertaken, as well as the results of the criminal trial, which is scheduled for early February.
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Oh Kristin, will be thinking of you in the next weeks. And I hope you experience lovely things amongst it all. I was *just* about to do a big post reading catch up on your blog today - as I do! Life's a bit ridiculous (for me) like that. Needless to say, I've missed reading your words and look forward to reading them in retrospect. Take care and lots of love. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks sweetie. The good news is that you won't have much to read for your catch-up, as I've blogged very little lately! You've been in my thoughts as well. x
DeleteHappy holidays to you too and good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ann!
DeleteWishing you and your beautiful children a lovely, secure start to the New Year - and the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteLord knows you deserve it.
xxx
Thank you. Really looking forward to getting to the far end of that tunnel. x
DeleteI'm sending you loads and loads of good and happy thoughts to be with you as you carry through the tougher moments to come. Keep hold of that awesome strength and I hope you find peaceful moments to celebrate this holiday season amidst the crappy ones and I look forward to seeing you on the other side.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for posting that video...it really is the best :)
Thanks so much, Linz. I really appreciate your support and kind thoughts. x
DeleteWishing you all the best. I hope 2013 is the new beginning you've been waiting for for so long.
ReplyDeleteSo do I, Steve. Thank you. :)
DeleteLove you. X
ReplyDeleteLove you more. x
Deletethinking of you and wishing you all the best of everything. always.
ReplyDeleteYou too, Cindi. You have never been far from my mind. x
DeleteThinking of you and hope that you have a lovely Christmas with your children. I hope that 2013 provides you with a bright and oportunity rich future you deserve.
ReplyDeleteStay safe and happy holidays
Same to you, and thank you so much for your good wishes. x
DeleteAll the best, many blessings and much strength to you and your little ones. ♥
ReplyDeleteHave the holly-est jolliest Christmas!
You too, Jen! And thanks for your email (wowee wow!). x
DeleteWishing you and your beautiful children a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I hope you get the results you're after with the trail.
ReplyDeleteThanks Miss P. All the best to you and your family this holiday season. x
DeleteHappy happy Christmas to you and yours Kristin. You deserve a lovely, peaceful break. Here's to 2013 being bright and wonderful! Big hugs from Aussie-land. xx
ReplyDeleteHugging you right back! Enjoy your holidays. x
Deletelove you babe
ReplyDeletexoxo
DeleteWishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and even better 2013. Love from Down Under. x
ReplyDeleteThanks Bronnie! Much love to you and your beautiful family. x
DeleteHave a wonderful time. 2013 is going to be a good year for you. (Unless the world ends on 21 December).
ReplyDeleteYou know, they could have at least set the end date for *after* Christmas. This way we get the whole frenzied lead-up to the holiday without the actual event itself. The kitties really want to know what is in their stocking(s). x
DeleteGo safely Kristin and I'll hold you with in my thoughts daily. Have a lovely Christmas and a fabulous New Year! I look forward to hearing from you in 2013.
ReplyDeletelove and hugs!
Thank you Pearl. Love and hugs to you and your family. Have a safe and warm holiday.
Delete2013 Is YOUR yeAr hun. Have a fabulous break and take care. Mwah xx
ReplyDeleteI sure hope so. I'm ready to grab it with both hands. xo
DeleteWishing you all the best Kristin and I will be thinking of you and the kids. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks melbo! xoxo
DeleteFor last year's words belong to last year's language
ReplyDeleteAnd next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"
Wishing you joy, love, laughter and magical moments in 2013.
Happy New Year.
Looking forward to hearing what you find in your cleavage next. ok that sounded creepy...
ReplyDeletegood luck and catch you and your crazy words on WWF
Best of luck with it all. Deep breaths.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Kristin...
ReplyDeleteHope you are ok.
Especially with the trial going on...
Big hugs from downunder,
Susan xx
Thanks Susan. The trial has been pushed back until April. xo
DeleteBudder.
DeleteHope you are hanging in there...
Somehow.
And finding little things to smile about at times.
Continuing to think of you often, as April looms...
DeleteHope the might be a holiday to Australia in your not too distant future.
xx
Thanks for checking in Susan. How thoughtful. An Australian holiday would be lovely. It's been too long, already!
DeleteThinking of you, hope the trial isn't dragging on forever.
ReplyDeleteThanks lovely. The trial has been postponed until April, unfortunately. x
DeleteDear Kristin, I just had to scroll up a few comments to learn your name, that's quite strange really. I think of you as Wanderlust.
ReplyDeleteI came to your blog via rrsahm, a long time ago. And read your 'if you read nothing else, read this post'. And wished I hadn't, and posted so. And then I came back, a few months later, and discovered you had done something incredible. You wrote to me.
I can't say how much that means.
This situation I've gotten myself in, where I feel like something is wrong, but no-one else can see it, I'm not even sure if I'm seeing it - is so very isolating. Alone in my little bubble of anxious silence, waiting for myself to get in line with the rest of the world and realise that I was so very lucky to be with this man who would put up with me and my brokenness.
And having you speak to me, to hear my worries, really hear them. That meant the world. Thank you.
It gave me space to step back, listen to myself, look harder at my situation. Poke at the bubble, and see if it did collapse, like part of me knew it must.
I think he really does love us. I think he won't hurt us. I think he's being the best person he can, to the best of his abilities.
And I came to realise that I just don't love him.
If we stay together and get married, there will be harm in our future. Because even if he loves me, he doesn't see me. He has no idea what my hopes and dreams, my interests, my beliefs are. He makes me ashamed of them. I hide who I am and get twisted up inside my head. I know that living like this, will make me depressed. Always depressed, not the lows that come and go.
So I have come to terms with his anger, and his secrets, and believe that they aren't directed at us. They're there - but they aren't at this point a danger. I've told him I do not want to get married. Do not want to have children. He has said that's ok. He doesn't believe me, and is confident I'll change my mind on both, but the words have been said and that is a rock I can build on.
I don't have the strength, or the finances to leave at the moment. But I believe that I will. And I believe that thanks to your words, I won't be running. I forced that fear into the open and found my feet on it. Instead of it being my private belief that I have to, have to go, so I slink out and leave gaping wounds, questions unanswered.. I think now I can do this in daylight. A real grown-up break up, as it were.
Sort of like Katie Holmes. Not having to leave in the night like she did, and have to have that fear live with you, wonder if he'll come after you. I think I'd have had that, without your help.
I've found the courage to have my voice. I've said things I know he didn't want to hear, and he hasn't hurt me. Done things that I wanted to do that I knew he wouldn't like, and defended myself, attacked back when attacked. Forced myself to be an equal. Not a shadow.
Thank you for hearing me. Thank you for helping me hear myself. For taking the time to help. For having so many burdens in your own life, but still taking the time to lift mine. Thank you. A hundred times, thank you.
I don't know how my story ends, or yours. But if you hadn't reached out, to the world at large, to me in particular, it would not have had an end. I wouldn't have the strength to stand. I'd have run or been swept away.
So thank you, for my happy ending. Or bitter ending. Or anything in between. Thank you for holding my hand strong enough for there to be an ending at all. Xxx Manda
Dearest Manda, I can't tell you how happy it made me to see this comment come through for you. I've wondered how you were faring. And I wondered if you had ever seen the post I put up.
DeleteYour comment gives me chills. Your courage, your honesty, your clear perspective, the strength and clarity of your voice...just amazing. I can feel a new-found power when I read your words. It makes me want to cheer.
What you've done may seem small, but it is not -- it's huge. You have listened to your own truth, and then acted upon it. There are people who will go whole lifetimes and never do that. If you were here, I would give you a hug.
Thank you for writing and letting me know how your story has shifted. Thank you for having the courage to reach out several months ago and express your doubts and concerns to a complete stranger. Your light shines bright.
I have no doubt you will go from strength to strength, and continue to listen to your heart and make your decisions accordingly. Kudos to you. I'm so glad our (virtual) paths crossed. I wish you all the best.
Manda! How amazing to read this. How brave you are - resolved, clear. I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much to get to where you are. But I'm proud - that both you and our darling Kristin are so strong and amazing.
DeleteBest wishes to you both.
Just saw that the trial has been postponed... argh! I hope you're holding up okay. It will all be done soon. Really looking forward to seeing you back!! x
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, M. This whole thing has been a slow roll down a looooong slope, but I trust it will all be done soon. Thanks for coming by and commenting. x
Delete