Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Dear former Facebook friend...

I understand that you and I don't share the same views on everything. That's cool.

People share things all the time on Facebook that I don't particularly agree with. That's what the 'hide' button is for. Or the scroll bar on the right hand side.

So when I shared the post about England and Wales legalizing gay marriage, I was a little taken aback by the vehement denunciations and bible-quoting that quickly ensued.

Not so much because I knew you might disagree (I still remember the phone call we had several years ago, after our mutual high school friend passed away, when you wondered aloud if she had been 'saved' before the cancer took her life).

No, I didn't expect it because, honestly, I forgot you were even on Facebook. I don't think you've ever commented on something I posted before tonight. These last three years, when I was sharing my story of living with, and healing from violence, you never once felt moved to comment.

And then, when I got tired of you raining on my gay parade tonight, and went for the 'unfriend', you quickly sent me a message to let me know how much you valued our friendship, and then went on to share how it hurt your heart to see how liberal and rebellious to God I had become over time, and you weren't just referring to the gay thing (what's a gay thing?). You went on to postulate that something traumatic must have happened with my earthly father to turn me away from my heavenly father.

I appreciate your concern (oddly, I honestly do, though I'm not feeling particularly valued at the moment). I want to reassure you, however, that your concern is unwarranted. I am tight with God. 

He and I have become close over the past several years. He has taught me to love more deeply and to see with more clarity. He has taught me that even in the darkest of circumstances, one can find light (or create it oneself). He has shown me that love, in all of its manifestations, is the highest act of reverence.

Once upon a time I would have been angry at you. I'm annoyed, yes, but not really angry. Anger is a waste of good energy that could be put to better use. I simply wish for us not to share the same social space anymore. So I unfriended you, wished you peace, and then got up and painted my nails.

I truly do wish you peace.

I wish peace, as well, for all the men and women around the world who have ever felt judged, or misjudged.

I wish peace for those who embrace God, and for those who choose not to, and for those whose circumstances do not allow them the luxury of philosophical pursuits.

And tonight, I raise my glass to the victory, long sought and hard won, in England and Wales.





I kinda like it. What do you think?








43 comments:

  1. Heartfelt, sensitive and wise. Your words are perfect. xx

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    1. But...you didn't say anything about my nails? xo

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    2. Of course your nails are Awesome... THAT goes without saying!!!

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    3. LOL. Thank you both, btw! xo

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    4. You silly girl. I'm just giving you a hard time. Sending hugs from the opposite side of the earth! x

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  2. Replies
    1. Thank you, new mama! Loving your baby pics on FB (those I definitely DON'T hide)!

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  4. You ARE wise. And your nails are lovely!

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  5. Love the nails! Lovely post. Wishing you peace too. xo

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    1. Thank you, Bina. I'm feeling at peace. :)

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  6. Great Post - thoughtful words - and of course gorgeous nails.....

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  7. Nail are stunning, choice to unfriend is awesome and yay to England Wales, now if we can just get Australia to join the way forward and have equal rights in all things, I will be very, very happy for my family and everyone else who chooses to marry the person they love.

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    1. Australia and Kansas. And a whole bunch of other states. And the rest of the world. THEN, I will be very, very happy. x

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  8. A manicure that makes a statement. I love it. Fabulous, as always x

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  9. I so LOVE that unfriend button. Some people just need to be gone from your life, so they quit taking up space that can be filled with someone awesome... and someone who will appreciate those fabulous nails! x

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    1. I've used it very rarely (I think perhaps my ex and his friends were the only others). But yes, I agree that we should fill our lives with awesome. A formula for success, if ever there was one!

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  10. Gorgeous nails and gorgeous attitude.

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  11. The only being who could possibly love you more right now than all your friends (real and virtual) and me is God.

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    Replies
    1. Well, don't you have a way with delivering wonderful compliments? xoxo

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  12. unfortunately most of the zealots in my life are related. I wish I could delete them so easily.

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    1. I am fortunate to come from a family comprised almost entirely of liberals. I'm pretty sure we all support the 'gay thing'. So that's a bridge I've never had to cross.

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  13. Love the sentiments, love the nails!

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  15. To be perfectly honest, those nails are not necessarily my cup of tea! But then isn't that exactly the point? We don't all need to like the same things or live the same life style. Live and let live is my motto!

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    1. I'm a bit over them already, myself. Like the statement, but the colors are a bit garish. Good thing I only did the one hand!

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  16. Obviously I had to rush to your Facebook page to see what had been said. But, wow - just wow!

    Nice response, and I am rather smug and proud to be English today.

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    1. You should feel proud. A major milestone. Hoping we all get there sooner, rather than later.

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  17. I totally like it! Both the manicure and the understanding that if God is love (one of the most clearly stated points in the Bible) that it's more important that I value love, and show His love through me, than that I do any kind of judging. I've come to realize lately how much I REALLY shouldn't be judging people, for anything. Sometimes it's hard not to do, so I have to remind myself, but I seriously try not to. I started a blog post to that effect sometime back, but never finished it (maybe I will some day).

    Oh, and I'm sitting here doing my nails too, but not anything as interesting as yours. Right now my main focus is just getting them all the same length, I haven't even started contemplating polish yet.

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  18. I totally like it! Both the manicure and the understanding that if God is love (one of the most clearly stated points in the Bible) that it's more important that I value love, and show His love through me, than that I do any kind of judging. I've come to realize lately how much I REALLY shouldn't be judging people, for anything. Sometimes it's hard not to do, so I have to remind myself, but I seriously try not to. I started a blog post to that effect sometime back, but never finished it (maybe I will some day).

    Oh, and I'm sitting here doing my nails too, but not anything as interesting as yours. Right now my main focus is just getting them all the same length, I haven't even started contemplating polish yet.

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    1. I find that's a difficult lesson, as well (about judgment). I find that life keeps giving me opportunities to suspend judgment. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I struggle. I do find, though, that when I can let go of judgment, it is immensely freeing.

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  19. Wonderful post, nails are fab by the way!

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  20. I couldn't agree with you more - great post !!!!
    Have the best day !
    Me

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  21. fantastic post! I raise my glass with you to England and Wales with my fingers and toes crossed firmly that we may one day catch up here in Australia.

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