Thursday, July 18, 2013

Perspective

Some days, I read the most heart-breaking stories. 

Long after I close the page, they sit in my consciousness like a heavy stone.

I have to pause, and then re-immerse myself in the world of people with beautiful minds and generous hearts. Sometimes, that's as easy as reading the comments here or the posts in my feed. Or simply being in the presence of my children.

I have to remind myself that the world is not solely full of people who are irreparably broken. It is also full of individuals with expansive hearts, who provide a soft place to fall for those who are victimized by the broken.

Thank you for providing perspective.

To all the light-bearers of the world, I salute you.










14 comments:

  1. And thank you for providing a shining example of indomitable spirit. Vix xx

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  2. Saluting you right back. You're a light bearer of the brightest light, K. x

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  3. You are a beautiful bright light in this world, Kristin. May you keep shining here and everywhere you travel. xx

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    1. Okay, but can I travel west...? :)

      xoxo

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  4. You always give more than you receive in my opinion. Thank you.

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  5. The most important part is remembering the good people in the world and looking out for them:)

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  6. Thank you for being one of those people providing light for others - showing what inner strength we all have within us when we need it.
    You are one amazing lady who lights the world for many.
    Have the best day !
    Me

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  7. YOU are one of the most gorgeous light bearers I know on the big old interwebs hun - I salute you xx

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  8. Your writing is always wonderful and sometimes inspirational

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    1. Thanks, P. I hope you're doing well. x

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  9. It wasnt the hitting, it was the keeping of secrets that was the real problem. I call it lying. I don't remember when he hit me. He only did it twice, maybe two weeks or two months apart. People would be shocked. It was maybe 25 or 30 years ago. The first time, it just didn't make sense. The second time I told myself I couldn't let myself forget. Thirty nine years after marrying him, after helping him build his business without any financial compensation to me, after going ahead and having children (despite the red flags), after raising them, after getting them through college and now after they are both in their first professional jobs, I divorced him. It was so painful and shameful to admit that I was a person who was hit and who failed to make any real choices for myself. Friends don't believe me. "You are so strong", they say. Everyone loved the lie. They love the lie much more than they care about my pain. During the divorce, a therapyst explained to me that one or two times is all it takes. After that, you are sufficiently fearful that you don't really fight hard and you give in. Because I could not give my sons the chance to see their parents in a real loving relationship, I hope the divorce and aftermath will help them to see that I stood for something important and that they must strive to learn what DOES make a happy relationship. In my sacrifice to protect them from stress, I harmed them and impaired their judgement when it comes to their own intimate relationships. Admitting what really happened to me has finally freed me in ways I could not have dreamed were possible. Feeling free is worth all the years and the financial sacrifice. I finally realize that I have to find a way to tell my sons too. Only telling them that their dad is great when the same "favor" is not returned by him does them little good. I will no longer tolerate the disrespect they show me, the disrespect their father has modeled for them. I now realize that I have to tell THEM this truth too even though I know it will make them angry and even though they will be, at last, caught in the conflict between us when their father calls me a liar. But, then, I am a liar. I lied for years to make people believe that we had a happy family. Thanks for letting me see such a similar experinece.

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    1. Hi z, I'm sorry to hear about the painful marriage you endured, but glad to know you have finally found some freedom. I agree with you 100% when you say that feeling free is worth all pain and sacrifice. I wouldn't go back for anything in the world. I hope that in time your sons will see your situation with more clarity, and that they will learn something from this that they can apply to their own lives. It's never too late to do the right thing. I wish you peace and continued healing.

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  10. Despite what I wrote about pain and shame and truth and my failures to muster the courage to step away from the situation, the happiness I am suddenly feeling 6 weeks post divorce is almost overwhelming. I have never felt this way in my life. I never, never imagined this was possible when I finally faced him and said I'm leaving. I'm not done healing yet--it is like I have PTSD and I make conditioned responses to actions because I misread the intent behind what people say but I have started to see this and I will change. The affirmation I experienced culling through all your posts was a wonderful blessing for me! Thank you.

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